Sorrowing about broken marriage, abortion and backbiting
2-5-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I went trough a horrifying divorce 1 year ago. My father came and took me from my husband’s house. My husband in the range of anger unbelievably influenced by his controlling mother locked me out of the house for 2 days because I refuse to obey his gossipy mother. Anyhow, since I was pregnant, I had to sleep at my relatives' house for a couple of days. Then after few days he come and asked me to forgive him for humiliating me like that, especially since I was pregnant. I forgave him because I loved him. We went back, but he never stopped with mistreatment along with his mother ideas. Anyhow, my father got fed up and took me away. At that time, I was disappointed at my husband, although I loved him, so I left and gave up on marriage. Aborted the baby, gossiped about my ex and his mother, just to suede the pain. Now I regret sincerely, from killing my baby, and I regret fro saying a single word about my ex and his mother. Because that is not the way Muslim act even when mistreated. I feel pan for a failed marriage and I ache for the baby I aborted. My heart is just falling apart. May Allaah forgive me. What should I do? I pray a lot, but I also cry a lot for all that I went trough. I sincerely loved my husband. Why?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
You have to know that repenting for committing abortion and backbiting your husband and his mother is a good and appropriate step. Allaah says (which means): {And verily, I am indeed Forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them, (till his death).}[Quran 20:82]. So we advise you to expect good from your Lord and do righteous deeds as much as possible.
In order to repent sincerely for aborting your child, if you have deliberately carried out the abortion, is to pay a Diyyah (i.e. blood money), which is one-tenth of the Diyyah of the mother, if the abortion took place 120 days after the egg is conceived. Your relatives should pay this Diyyah but you will not inherit anything from it. Moreover, in order to avoid the difference of opinion, you are obliged to expiate for this sin. At this time and age, the expiation is to fast for two consecutive months according to the text of the Quran, and if you are not able to do so, then the view of some scholars
is that you should feed 60 poor people.
To repent from backbiting, you have to seek forgiveness from those whom you backbit if you do not fear a greater harm. However, if you fear any harm, then you have to supplicate to Allaah to forgive them and speak good about them. The Prophet 
said: "If anyone has wronged his Muslim brother, then he has to ask him for forgiveness."
Finally, we draw your attention to the following matters:
1) If your husband has not divorced you, you are still considered his wife, because divorce is in the hands of the husband. So if this is the case, i.e. if he has not divorced you, then you should endeavour to reconcile with him.
2) One should be cautious about causing problems in marital life, and one should be keen on understanding each other so that the stability of marital life will be achieved, as this is one of the most important objectives of Islamic Law in legislating marriage.
3) Mentioning another person with what he does not like, with the intention of seeking advice or because of being wronged, according to the need, is not sinful.
Allaah knows best.