She dreams of being with a future husband every night
2-6-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have a friend who is 19 years-old. She has this problem. I shall explain in detail. She is very religious. She prays all her prayers. She even fasts on Mondays and Thursdays, Maasha' Allaah. But there is this problem with her. Every night she goes to sleep she thinks of her future husband. Mind you she is not yet married and Inshaa Allaah, it shall take place whenever her parents wish. She does not love anyone nor does her like or desire anyone. But every night she dreams of spending the night with her future mate. But when she gets up in the morning she realizes her mistake and repents to Allaah, The Exalted. So in order to stop this she prays Tashahhud in the night and says the Du'a while going to sleep, but still Satan disturbs her reminding of that evil thing. She is very pious and does not even look at men when she goes out. But she wants a pious and religious mate whom she knows Allaah will give her one day, if she is alive. But she thinks that Allaah will punish her of this misdeed. So she wants you to give some proper advice and some Du'a in order to cure this disease. Please help her in this shameful act of hers. And guide her to the straight path.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
The thoughts that unintentionally come to the mind of a person and he does not indulge in them in principle do not harm him. The same applies to the dreams that a person has while sleeping.
Therefore, there is no harm on this sister for such thoughts if she does not think about them intentionally or indulge in doing so. However, she has to repel these thoughts and seek Allaah's Help to prevent her from such thoughts which are a means of falling into sin. She has to continue performing Tahajjud [night] prayer and mentioning Allaah when going to sleep, etc… She also has to fast as much as possible as the Prophet 
said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guards his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is unable to marry, should fast, as fasting helps him control his sexual desire." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
There is no harm on her to ask her female friends to seek a pious husband for her through their husbands and there is no harm on her, Inshaa' Allaah, to propose herself to whom she wants to marry, provided this takes place without raising suspicion or subjecting herself to be doubted. Indeed, a woman proposed herself to the Prophet so that he would marry her. [Al-Bukhari]
Allaah knows best.