Problem over naming new baby girl
27-10-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I had a girl baby like 45 days ago. Before her coming I and my wife were almost naming her a name. (During that time my mother wanted from me to name the baby the same as her name, I would like to make bir for her and satisfy her but my wife didn't like the name and some doing of my mother).
After my babies birth, my wife insisted on a different name which I didn't prefer. I kept on trying to convince her that you like the previous name we had choose and I do, and you like this new name you came up with but I don't so let us name her with the name you and me likes also. she insisted not to, and I didn't obliged her because she was Nufasah and I didn't like to make her sad, but kept on trying to convince her that you should do the thing we like both not just what you like. So I hopped that by the Husna she'll make bir for me and try to make me happy also by changing the name when we will register the name officially, but she didn't. And later she began to say now its too late because she told most of the people with the name she named the baby with.
Later on, my mother insisted that she will not see the baby or make Ridah on us except if at least we changed the name to the name that we first me and my wife were planning to name the baby with.
So my wife likes the name she choose so much, and says that the baby is her baby and had the hardship with her delivery not any body else so she has the right for naming her and even I should tell her and let her be happy in doing this.
And my mother will not make Rida on us and will not see the baby if we didn't name her as I explained in previous.
And so what I’m asking is:
1. When the wife -you know- faced the birth delivery hardships and likes to name her baby and this contradicts with the what the husband mother desire and likeliness, whom should be taken with, the wife or the mother satisfaction?
2. Not naming the baby with what the mother likes, is that a kind of the sin and not making Birr to the parents?
3. If the second question was valid, does what my wife made with me could be taken as that I didn't make Birr to mother, so the wife didn't make Birr to me?
4. Is it right (concerning Halaal and Haraam), to change the name of the baby now after 45 days to resolve this issue?
5. If my wife is willing if I changed the name to my mother name or even to the name we first were willing to name the baby with, not to stay at home and even to get divorced, do you think that I should make bir to mother even if any thing bad may happen to our marriage life?
Note: Knowing that my wife supposes to be a religious women but I don't know what is happening there.
Please advise me how can I come over this with the satisfaction for all and especially Allaah first and last?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Naming the new-born child is a right for both the husband and wife in case they agree, and if there is a dispute in this regard then the husband has the upper say. That is because the children are traced back to their father and not to their mother. Allaah Says (which means): {Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah.}[Quran 33:5]. Therefore you should endeavour to agree on a good name which will please both of you in order to satisfy the interests of everyone. If this takes place then all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise the right of the mother precedes the right of the wife when there is a disagreement. Thus you have to be kind and dutiful to your mother by choosing what she wants if this name does not contain a meaning that contradicts the Islamic Law. There is no doubt that going against the will of the mother in this case is being undutiful to her. Being undutiful and unkind to the mother is a great sin, the impact of which could be reflected on the behaviour of the wife.
You have to endeavour to convince your wife by explaining to her that Islamic religion requires being kind and dutiful to your mother in this situation. Besides, you should explain to her that naming the child is a simple matter and it should not have a negative effect on the marital life which is a very strong covenant that should not be broken by futile reasons. Furthermore, it is not permissible for your wife to leave the house for this reason otherwise she is considered disobedient. Indeed Allaah clarified in His Book the steps of dealing with a disobedient wife; this is discussed in Fatwa 89480, so please refer to it.
Also it is not permissible for her to ask for divorce as there is no sound religious reason for it and you are not obliged to accept her request in this regard. However, if the marital relationship has worsened to an extent that there is no other alternative than divorce, then in such a case it is more appropriate for you to divorce her.
Finally, it should be noted that there is no harm in changing the name of the new-born baby at any time after his birth if there is a [religious] need in changing his/her name.
Allaah Knows best.