Cultivational methods for adjusting troublesome children

23-3-2006 | IslamWeb

Question:

What is the best way to deal with troublesome children?

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

Troublesome children usually cause trouble because of lacking enough love and affection. When they become troublesome, they are in fact trying to attract their parents’ attention so that they will get some love and affection from them. Therefore, the fist step for treatment is to provide them with care, concern, attention, and spend enough time playing with them. Besides, the parents should always advise them, and avoid describing them as troublesome so that this will not be engraved in their memory. Moreover, they should protect the children from the external influences which may encourage them to behave in such a manner, like video and T.V. when watching cartoon films.

Moreover, the parents should vary their way of advice, according to what suits them and according to their age. For instance the advice could be done once by insinuation, and by giving advice another time, and blaming them for doing so at other times. Physical punishment should be the last resort.

Indeed, there are some procedures which are mentioned by some educators and cultivators like the following:

  1. Neglecting and ignoring them for a period.
  2. Depriving them from any pocket money or anything they like.
  3. Refraining from talking to them for a while.
  4. Threatening them, provided that one carries out the threat if they are negligent.

Allaah Knows best.

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