Daughter's duty toward her mother who neglected her during childhood
13-8-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
who has the main importance in islam the one who has given the birth or the one who has adopted and has guided 4rm the age of 5 months till the age of 18 yrs the mother has no interference in her life
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have already clarified in Fatwa 90201 that the right of the mother on her daughter must be honored even if she was negligent in bringing her up. The right of the mother to be dealt with faithfully and kindly is well established and cannot be waived because of her disaffection, abandonment, or even disbelief. As a mater of fact, Allaah ordered us to be kind and dutiful to our parents even if they are non-Muslims. Allaah Says (what means): {But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness,…}[Quran 31:15]. Moreover, the Prophet 
was asked: "Who is the most deserving of my good company more?", and he replied: "Your mother, then your mother, then your mother..." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Accordingly, the mother, in general, is the person who deserves most kind and faithful treatment. As regards the negligence of the mother toward her daughter, she will be responsible about it in front of Allaah, but this is not a justification for cutting relations or being disobedient to her.
Similarly, if someone else raises up that girl; he also deserves to be treated with kindness and faithfulness as Allaah Says (what means): {Is there any other reward for good other than good.}[Quran 55:60]. If the person who sponsored her was her uncle, as the questioner mentioned, then he possesses two rights over her: the right of fostering her and the right of blood relationship.
As regards the statement of the uncle that this girl is his daughter, if he meant that she is like his daughter in being affectionate to her and taking care of her, then this is permissible. However, it is not permissible for him to attribute her to himself as a daughter; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82371 about the prohibition of adoption.
Allaah Knows best.