Her husband does not pray and is negligent about her rights
14-8-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
ASSALAM ALLEYKUM? I AM A MARRIED WITH ONE CHILD. MY HUSBAND OWNS A HOUSE AND HIS SISTER IS THE ONE WHO COLLECTS THE RENT EVERY MONTH. MY HUSBAND WORKS 700KM AWAY FROM ME. HE USUALLY VISIT ME AFTER 1 AND HALF MONTH OR 3 MONTHS BUT NOW HE COMES AFTER 4 MONTHS. HE SEND ME MONEY EVERY MONTH THROUGH BUS COMPANY. BUT WHEN THE BABY IS SICK AND I HAVE NO MONEY HE ASKS ME TO GO TO HIS SISTER AND TELL HER BUT THE SISTER REFUSES TO GIVE ME MONEY AND SAYS THAT, "I HAVE SEEN MY HUSBAND'S HOUSE THATS WHY I KEEP ON SAYING THE BABY IS SICK AND SHE IS NOT SICK JUST PRETENDING." NOWADAYS, HE SENDS ME LESS MONEY AND THE REST HIS SISTER IS SUPPOSE TO SEND ME TO PAY THE MAID. UNFORTUNATELY SHE DONT BRING THE MONEY. THE HUSBAND KNOWS BUT HE IS AFRAID OF HIS SISTER. WHEN HE VISITS US, HE CAN LEAVE THE HOUSE AT 9AM IN THE MORNING UNTIL 10PM AT NIGHT. I'LL COOK AND KEEP THE FOOD READY,TAKE A BATH AND DRESS MYSELF, MAKEUP,BUKHOOR, WASH THE BABY SIT ON THE COACH UNTIL I SLEEP ON THE COACH WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND. WHEN HE COMES HE EXPECTS ME TO BE HAPPPY. THEN HE GOES AROUND SAYING AM ALWAYS KEEPING QUIET, NOT HAPPY WITH HIM, THAT I CANNOT LOOK AFTER HIS WEALTH THE WAY WE ARE LIVING. THE SISTER GOES AROUND AND TALK ABOUT ME THAT HIS BROTHER WILL MARRY ANOTHER WIFE BECAUSE I DONT WANT PEOPLE, THAT AM SELFISH, AND THAT HIS BROTHER IS ONLY WAITING FOR THE BABY TO GROW TO DIVORCE ME. AM WORKING AND LEAVE THE OFFICE AT 5PM AND REACH MY HOUSE AT AROUND 6PM. TIRED, ONLY SALAM TO THE TENANTS WHOM AM STAYING WITH IN MY BROTHER IN LAW'S HOUSE. I DONT GO TO WORK ON WEEKENDS, SO I CLEAN MY HOUSE, WASH MY CLOTHS AND SOMETIMES I USE THE SUNDAY TO VISIT MY RELATIVES. THE ONLY THING I DONT UNDERSTAND IS THAT ALL THE CONTROLL OF MY HUSBAND IS FROM HIS SISTER IS THAT ISLAMIC? THEIR IS NO GOOD BOND BETWEEN ME AND MY HUSBAND SITTING DOWN AND TALK ABOUT OUR LIFE INSTEAD MOST OF HIS TIME WHEN HE VISITS US, HE SPEND IT WITH HIS SISTER. WHEN I ASKED HIM TO PRAY HE DOESNT WANT. PLEASE HELP ME.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
The most serious thing which the questioner mentioned about her husband is that he does not perform the daily prayers. Abandoning the prayers is an act which takes the person out of the fold of Islam according to the view of many scholars 
as clarified in Fatwa 84235.
Therefore, we advise you to endeavour to rectify your husband and be steadfast in advising him and reminding him of his religious obligations, like performing the prayer, spending on his wife and children and dealing with his wife kindly.
Two righteous and pious men, who are just and have religious knowledge, one from your family and another from his family, should be appointed to judge between you and look into the reasons of dispute between you. They should remind your husband about his religious obligations, especially the prayer. Allaah Says (what means): {If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed Allaah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.}[Quran 4:35].
If your husband does not listen to the advice and persists in abandoning the prayer, and continues to be negligent regarding his obligation of spending on you and his child, and is not treating you kindly, then you may ask for divorce especially if he persists in abandoning the prayer, as there is no good for you in staying with a husband who is negligent about the greatest religious obligation after the two testimonies of faith.
If he refuses to divorce you, you may take the matter to an Islamic court in order to prove the harm which is caused to you by him, then your husband will be forced by law either to divorce you or to live with you honourably.
For more benefit on how to deal with a husband who does not perform the prayers, please refer to Fataawa 88016 and 88932, and Fatwa 83607 on the preconditions that must be fulfilled in order for work to be permissible for a woman.
Allaah Knows best.