Parents insist on a wife-to-be and the son refuses

10-3-2011 | IslamWeb

Question:

My parents insist on making me marry one of my relatives but I do not agree. They are adamant that I should marry this particular girl. What should I do?

---

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

A son has to be dutiful to his parents seeking their satisfaction and fulfilling their wishes, and this would guarantee an abundance of rewards for him in this life and the Hereafter as well. Hence, if this girl is a righteous and well-mannered Muslim, then our advice is to resort to Istikhaarah (guidance-seeking prayer), taking into account the importance of honoring your parents and seeking to please them.  However, if she is not a righteous and well-mannered girl or you do not accept her as your wife at all, then you should try to persuade your parents in a kindly manner to change their minds while clarifying to them your reasons for not marrying this girl.  Moreover, you should not make the decision of accepting or rejecting any matter before resorting to Istikhaarah (guidance-seeking prayer), for whosoever resorts to Istikhaarah would never fail, and whosoever resorts to consultation shall never regret.

Allaah Knows best.