Patience for the Mother’s Harm
1-5-2017 | IslamWeb
Question:
My mother often invokes evil upon me and my sisters. She curses and abuses us. We are five sisters and have not yet married although we are over thirty years of age. By Allah, we are wronged and our rights have been wasted. My mother is not sociable and does not obey my father. She often quarrels with him, so much so that she has caused him to fall ill. She does not obey him and violates his commands to her, for which all people blame her. What is your advice to her and us? I will convey this message to her indirectly. I just would like you to inform her of the recompense of what she is doing. I also would like to know whether her invocation of evil upon us can be answered. I am sure, by Allah, that she has no right to invoke evil upon us.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Our advice to you is to fear Allah, the Almighty, keep patient with the harm that you receive from your mother, and advise her as much as possible with kindness and leniency. Do not disobey her command so long as it does not lead to sin. I give you the glad tidings that Allah never allows the deed of anyone who does good in work to be lost and that He will make ease after hardship. He who fears Allah, without a doubt, He will make for him a way out.
Her invocation of evil, curses, abuses, and insults is a grave sin. It was reported, in an authentic narration, that the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “Abusing a Muslim is an evildoing, and fighting him is (an act of) disbelief.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] It has also been proven that he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “It is enough as evil for a man to despise his Muslim brother.” [At-Tirmithi]
It is due on your mother to hasten to turn to Allah, the Almighty, in repentance and to apologize for her bad conduct towards you and her husband, with whom she quarrels and whose commands she disobeys. It should be known to her that her obedience to her husband is of the greatest deeds that bring her close to Allah, the Almighty, and earn her His good pleasure. It has been narrated on the authority of Umm Salamah 
that the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “Any woman who dies and whose husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi: Good]
The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, further said, “Were I to command anyone to fall in prostration to another, I would have commanded the woman to fall in prostration to her husband.” [At-Tirmithi with a good chain of narrators]
Allah knows best.