Al-Ghazaali said, “A child is a trust with his parents, and his heart is a pure jewel which does not have any inscriptions or images on it. It is susceptible to whatever is engraved on it and inclines to whatever it is inclined to. If he is used to evil and is left like the beasts, he will be miserable and doomed. The sin will be tied to the neck of his guardian and the one responsible for him.”

Where is the father today who helps his child learn his religion by taking him to institutions where he can memorize the Quran, directing him to the circles of knowledge, bringing him books, tapes and CDs and teaching him how to glorify the obligations of Allah in his heart?

Where is the father who becomes very angry with his child when he neglects the rights of Allah The Almighty and rewards him when he constantly observes Islamic teachings?

A reversed image!

On the contrary, it is often seen that the father becomes very happy with his son's success in this life, but he does not become sad with his lack of development in religion. Be honest with yourself: will you not be happier with the success of your son in school more than with his complete memorization of the Quran? If you are given the choice between the two successes, will you not choose success in the worldly life? The catastrophe is that we bring our children up for our own selves, to benefit us and help us; we do not bring them up for the sake of Allah, to become true believers on the right path and allies of Allah The Almighty. This is the problem.

The danger lies in two matters:

First: Sincerity to Allah in bringing up the children
We should ask ourselves: Why do we try our best to provide our children with a righteous upbringing?

„« To benefit us when we grow old and need them?
„« To take pride in them and boast about them in front of people?
„« To avoid being ashamed of them or criticized for their bad behavior?

All these intentions are unsound and indicate an impending tragedy. Perhaps they are the main reasons behind the corruption of children, since good actions are not accepted if done with bad intentions. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Indeed, Allah does not amend the work of corrupters.} [Quran 10: 81] Therefore, if we want to have righteous offspring, we have to purify our intentions and bring them up only because Allah The Almighty ordered us to do that. We have to be conscious of this responsibility.

Raising children is a duty ordained by Allah The Almighty, and it is an obligation for which we deserve a reward if we carry it out well and punishment if we abandon it. We need to inculcate this feeling in our hearts: that we are carrying out a duty and an obligation, and Allah is watching us and will hold us accountable. This helps the Muslim accomplish this mission according to what Allah loves and is pleased with, not as he wishes and desires. This intention is also a reason for the slave to gain help, steadfastness and guidance from Allah The Almighty. For that reason, we see many Muslims who are very concerned about bringing up their children, but they are not successful, and the results often come opposite of what they hoped for.

Second: Gratitude for the blessing of having children

Truly, we do not show gratitude for the blessing that Allah grants us through children. It is a blessing that is realized only by people who are deprived of it. The first sign of showing gratitude is that we raise our children to become true slaves of Allah who created them for us, gave them to us and enjoined upon us to look after them. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'} [Quran 14: 7] The one who denies and is ungrateful for the favor of Allah, for him is the punishment of Allah, which is very severe. Allah may test him with the same type of blessing so that it becomes a curse for him. The children might overburden him with their demands, so that he cannot fulfill them, or they might sadden him by their deviant behavior and base manners, and oppress him with transgression and disbelief.

However, the believers who are grateful for the blessings of Allah The Almighty and guard their children against misguidance, Allah grants them good sustenance, so their children will be dutiful to them and a source of goodness in this life and in the Hereafter. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them by transgression and disbelief. So we intended that their Lord should substitute for them one better than him in purity and nearer to mercy.} [Quran 18: 80-81]

O Muslim father, what are you going to say when Allah The Almighty blames you for your attitude towards His blessings? Allah The Almighty will ask you: "Did I not give you hearing, vision and wealth? Did I not subdue horses and camels for you and give you an opportunity to rule over your subjects and gain booties? Did you not think that you would be meeting Me?" The person will reply: "No." Then Allah Will Say: ‘I forget you today as you forgot Me’" [Muslim] Allah The Almighty will forget you as you forgot and squandered your children, and left them in the claws of ignorance until the devils from among the humans and the Jinn diverted them.

Be prepared for the meeting and reckoning of Allah The Almighty who says (what means): {The Day every soul will find what it has done of good present [before it] and what it has done of evil, it will wish that between itself and that [evil] was a great distance. And Allah warns you of Himself, and Allah is kind to [His] servants."} [Quran 3: 30]

Hidden Dangers in Raising Children-I