She deserted her envious non-practicing sister

15-11-2009 | IslamWeb

Question:

AssalamAlaikum,Is it Haram not to talk to my sister due to her different ways of living as compared to mine.I alhamdulillah try and follow the Sunnah and want my kids to follow the same.Like we don't celebrate b/days etc as it is Bidha.and many more that she does..which leaves us on totally different pages.We have not talked for 6mths now..she is trying but I am trying to protect my Family.Plz advice on what I should do.Since we don't talk I fine my self following my deen with no one mocking us.and making fun of our ways of following the Sunnah and the Hadeeth.She is very Envious..hasad...never wants anything good to happen to you.So it is really hard for us to get along.I always have to show her that I have nothing as in Duniya and she feels good and thinks she is the best..it is so complicated and this has been going on for over 12yrs and has reached a time I am so tired and my kids are growing I need them to have a positive thinking towards Family and our Deen.InshAllah I ope you can help me out as I don't want to sin..I am struggling for Jannah inshAllah.JazakAllah Kher

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

First of all, may Allaah reward you for being zealous about your religion and being keen on staying steadfast on your religion and protecting the religion of your children. We ask Allaah to enable you to this effect and we ask Him to admit us and you to Paradise.

You should know that it is forbidden to desert a Muslim for more than three days without a sound reason and we have already issued Fataawa 86090 and 84976 clarifying this. If this happens between relatives, then this is even more forbidden as this leads to cutting ties with kinship.

For more benefit on the excellence of keeping ties with kinship and the seriousness of cutting ties with the next of kin, please refer to Fataawa 88129 and 87510.

However, it is permissible to desert a fellow Muslim for a religious reason. For instance, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) deserted Ka’b ibn Maalik and his two companions  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  them as they stayed behind in the Battle of Tabook without any sound reason. Anyway, we advise you to be patient with your sister. A believer may be afflicted, and if he/she is patient, his/her degrees will be raised and he/she will achieve the best outcome. We have already issued Fatwa 83577 clarifying the importance of being patient when afflicted, so please refer to it.

Besides, you should advise her in a nice and soft manner with good words while being wise in doing so, as Allaah may make you a reason for her guidance, as this enmity between you and her will be changed to friendship. Allaah Says (what means): {Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily, he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.}[Quran 41:34]  Moreover, it is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If Allaah guides one single man (to Islam) through you, it would be better for you than possessing the red camels (i.e. the most precious breed of camels).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For instance, you may take the opportunity to visit her when she is sick or when her children are sick, and you may keep ties with her by other means than visiting her, like phoning her or gifting her and the like.

As regards her jealousy, then you already know the solution. So, you may solve this problem without lying, like telling her that she is in better circumstances than yourself.

Allaah Knows best.

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