Her daughter stopped praying because of psychological distress

7-5-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

AsSalaamu Alykum wa Rahmatula wb. I am a single mother of three children. My daughter is the eldest and is 14 years old. Her father took me to court on false accusations and our daughter disgusted with him despite my talking to her decided she did not want to see him anymore. I found out she was abused mentally by her step mom and pushed up against a wall on several occasions even after the courts had tried to stop her from doing this before. There is a history of abuse with her father and step mother I did my best to protect her but failed. Now Alhumdilulah she lives with me. But while the case was going on she became very ill and still has not recovered. She was hospitalized and her father did not even call and this seemed to upset her. but yet she says she wants nothing to do with him. She went from a straight A student to a B student struggling in school, very ill, and has stopped praying. She says she wants to but something is holding her back. I know her step mom was A Christian Extremist making my daughter pray in her underthings and I brainwashing :(. My daughter is very mature for her age and is very aware of others feelings and of things around her Alhumdilulah. She has seen so many doctors but still she is not herself. How can I help reconnect her back to Allah. She wants to she said she does but she is confused as much as I. she will not cry or let out her feeling. She only gets mad which is against her nature. I know what it is like to be with out a father and I know it takes both parents to raise a child. But also a good father is also important. Please help and guide me in the way of what is right with Islam. Help my daughter please.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If what you said about the way your husband and his other wife treated your daughter is true, then there is no doubt that this is a great affliction and an offense against her.

Indeed, you did well by advising your daughter not to cut her relationship with her father; no matter what her father does to her, he remains her father. She is obliged to be kind and dutiful to him and she is not permitted to sever ties with him under any circumstances. For more benefit about dutifulness to the parents, please refer to Fataawa 87019 and 84942.

It is very serious that your daughter has stopped praying as this is a grave major sin, and some scholars are of the view that abandoning the prayer, even out of laziness, is an act that takes a person out of the fold of Islam as underlined in Fatwa 84235. Therefore, you should advise her gently and explain to her that she should struggle not to respond to the whispers of the devil, as he tries to always remind her of what happened between her and that woman in order to keep her away from praying and make her believe that abandoning the prayer is a trivial matter. Allaah says (what means): {Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.}[Quran 35:6]

On the other hand, we advise you to supplicate for her much, as the supplication of parents for their children will be answered. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered (by Allaah): The supplication of a victim of injustice, the supplication of a traveler, and the supplication of a parent for his child." [Ibn Maajah]

Also, you should frequently perform Ruqyah on her, as it is beneficial for physical and psychological disorders. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88660 and 82918.

There is no doubt that she needs the care, compassion and affection of her father. You should seek the help of wise and righteous people to advise her father and remind him of Allaah and that he will be asked about his daughter on the Day of Resurrection. Ibn ‘Umar  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for the people under his guardianship … and a man is a guardian in his house and is responsible for the people under his guardianship…” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Abdullaah ibn 'Amr  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is sufficient sin for a person to neglect his dependents.” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

Finally, we ask Allaah to relieve all your hardships and grief, to make for you a way out of all your difficulties, to heal your daughter, and to guide her father to the right path.

Allaah Knows best.

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