By Salma Sanwari
Motherhood is an ever-evolving vocation. A mom who is not constantly learning and inquiring may find that homemaking and child rearing responsibilities are surpassing her intellectual capabilities.
In fact, I have heard many moms say that they feel as if their intelligence is regressing day by day. They spend most of their day tending to their homes and raising their children. By the end of the day they are so physically and mentally exhausted that it is only the rare mom who can take a moment to actually pick up a book, magazine, or journal to further her own knowledge or education. However, if we could summon up a few hours a week to further our own intelligence, we will notice the benefits this will have for our families and us. Continuing education is not just a good idea, it is a responsibility. In order to do our job well, as with any profession, we need to continually ‘update our resumes,’ so to speak.
On-the-job training
Allah insists that man and woman both are required to ‘read'. Muslims are ordered to further their education and continue to strive to gain knowledge throughout the course of their lives. Education does not necessarily refer to school alone. A mother can gain education in a variety of fields and by various methods.
One of the easiest ways to increase our knowledge is to ‘learn on the job.’ A mom plays many roles with many talents. Mom can cook meals, clean house, manage the budget, resolve juvenile conflicts, and maintain family spirituality. And she can usually do all this in the course of just one day.
However, just because mom has a laundry basket’s worth of chores to do, that doesn’t mean that her day needs to be routine or boring or worse, unbeneficial. There are many steps a mom can take throughout the day to further her know1edge.
One way to incorporate active knowledge into your daily routine is to do just that. Make sure that you consciously schedule in specific time for yourself to browse the Internet, read the paper, or read a book. No one said you have to finish a 300-page classic overnight. In fact, baby steps done consistently are what Islam recommends. It is much easier to promise to yourself that you will read one section of a parenting book daily than to obsess over it all day in order to finish it.
Incorporate small reads into your routine. We already take out a few minutes several times a day to offer our Prayer. If we could just add a few minutes either before or after each one, this would offer us nearly 10 to 20 minutes a day to read a few verses of Quran, Hadeeth or some other spiritual reading material. The extra 2-4 minutes per Prayer seems insignificant and yet it is long enough for us to learn something new and meaningful each day. How many of us can say that about our current situations?
Study groups
There is more to furthering one’s education than just book learning. Many moms join Halaqas (study circles) to ensure that they take out some time each week and devote it strictly to gaining knowledge. This method offers multiple benefits. First, it offers the obvious opportunity for spiritual growth. Many people find that they learn and retain more when they are able to join an active discussion. Not only do study groups offer educational opportunities but they also grant moms a chance to socialize with other peers. A mom at home with her kids all day might feel as if she gets little to no intellectual stimulation. Her husband returns from work and she is further busied with dinner, baths, homework, and bedtime. The moments that a husband and wife have to themselves to discuss mature matters are limited. Joining a Halaqa is a spiritually and socially profitable endeavor. It grants a woman a chance to discuss other matters with other women. Many women who participate in Halaqas enjoy the minutes before or after to exchange recipes, parenting methods, marital advice, and shopping tips.
Do your homework
As our children grow up and assume more responsibilities for themselves, we find that we might have a few extra moments throughout the day. We should be on the lookout for these precious tokens of freedom and utilize them to the fullest. When our kids are ready for full-time school, we too should prepare to do some of our own homework. Some moms would love the chance to finish up their degrees; others relish the opportunity to learn a new trade or hobby. Take the leap and enroll yourself in a university if it’s a degree you seek. Or register for a few home economics classes like sewing or interior design or cake decorating. If you don’t have the means or desire to leave home, there are many distance-learning programs. In fact, there are hundreds of Islamic courses at a number of Islamic universities that offer online options. The cyber-sky is the limit to online education. Just decide what it is you would like to learn more about and then start clicking.
Learning from a mentor
Often times, our best teachers are right under our noses. We hear much through the grapevine; beneficial information should be no different. Many women learn most of their homemaking and child rearing skills from their mothers. Then, they continue their education by asking friends who might have endured situations similar to their own.
Sometimes the best way to get a question answered is to ask it. If we need information about something, our best bet is to ask someone capable of answering us. We can turn to our mothers, even grandmothers, and friends. We can each learn from one another, just as we can teach one another. Rather than remaining shy or, God forbids, proud when we observe that a sister is more knowledgeable in a matter than ourselves, we should ask for advice. Similarly, if you have information that would be helpful or beneficial for someone else, you should share it.
Whether you decide to enroll yourself in a structured course or a formal Islamic study circle or you just enjoy chit chatting with your friends, realize the potential of every circumstance. We should also remember the value of our intentions prior to each situation: make the intention to learn something at every event you attend; make the intention to teach someone something worthwhile everyday; make the intention to read a spiritually informative piece consistently. Our minds are sponges at any age and we can learn and grow in nearly every situation.