An important report issued by the Central Bureau for Public Census and Statistics revealed that there are four million women in Egypt over the age of thirty, who have never been married. This is especially a cause for concern, as their future is bleak, considering that a great proportion of them are uneducated and have no source of livelihood other than their fathers’ support. Further, in staying single, it is worrying that they may be vulnerable to unlawful temptations, especially since immorality is rife these days.
Since Islam is the perfect religion for all times and places, it introduced the solution to a problem like this fourteen centuries ago, by permitting a man to be married to up to four women at the same time, provided that he is just with all of them. In this article, we will attempt to revive this Sunnah of our Prophet, , as a solution for the dilemma of spinsterhood which threatens many Muslim societies and the chastity of our Muslim women.
Dr. Su‘aad Saalih, professor of Fiqh in Al-Azhar University, says: “Islam pays great attention to marriage, because it is the cornerstone of the Muslim family. Even historically, human beings have never stopped forming families, as it is part of man's instinct. Hence, due to the importance of the family, [Islam has set] certain foundations upon which it should be built; such as, choosing the right spouse, having an engagement, compatibility, securing consent [of both girl and boy], announcing the marriage, ensuring the presence of a Wali (a woman’s guardian) and conferring dowry. Further, marriage has goals that must be fulfilled, such as achieving tranquility, affection and mercy, and nurturing children, among other family-related goals.”
She adds, “These days, the Islamic guidance in selecting a spouse is being neglected; instead of considering piety and good character in a potential partner, worldly criteria such as property, beauty or lineage, now factor in. This has led to girls abstaining from marriage unless these criteria are met and an increase in divorce, even if they are. Yet, they remain interested in materialistic demands that overburden young men, such as ownership of residence, etc., and some fathers accordingly reject religious, well-mannered suitors for no real reason.”
Solving the problem of spinsterhood
Prof. Su’aad believes this problem has a two-pronged solution:
1- Religiously, there must be an increase in awareness of the importance of compatibility of the two spouses in terms of piety and manners.
2- Economically, new jobs must be created and suitable housing alternatives provided.
The role of the Muslim media in this is also of paramount importance, for it should enhance awareness about the problems which result from young men and women not marrying, such as the prevalence of unregistered marriages (that are not recognized Islamically) as well as the prevalence of unlawful relations. It should address Muslim families, directing them toward the guidance of the Prophet, , in being keen on choosing righteous and courteous husbands for them, as he, , said: “If there comes to you a man whose religion and manners you are satisfied with, let him marry [from among you]. If you do not, there will be temptation in the land and great mischief”; and in abstaining from demanding large dowries for their daughters, as the Prophet, , also said: “The most blessed women are those who have the lowest dowry.”
Dr. Saalih adds, “Islam legislated polygamy to solve many problems, one of which was spinsterhood, which is an established probability since women outnumber men, especially in times of war. Further, any illness or infertility of the wife, or inability to meet her husband’s needs, justify polygamy as an adequate solution, yet, it must always be based on fairness.”
The role of government
When we consulted Dr. Ahmad Shalabi, a professor in the Faculty of Daar Al-‘Uloom, he said: “There is great danger in delaying marriage, to the government and society as a whole, as it may lead to vice and the emergence of sexually transmitted diseases that did not previously exist. Normally, a man should marry by the age of twenty-four and a girl by twenty years of age. On the other hand, if a woman marries after reaching thirty, she is bound to face difficulties in raising her children properly according to the teachings of Islam, because it requires significant effort from a mother.” Dr. Shalabi encourages families, not to demand exaggerated dowries and trousseaus.
Dr. Shalabi says that the government must create good-paying jobs in the public and private sector for the youth. Moreover, it is its responsibility to provide reasonably priced housing for the lower-income population that must not exceed 10% to 25% of their wages.
Economic conditions
According to Ibraaheem Mahmood, a lawyer, the bad economic situation is key to this delay in marriage among youth, due to the insistence of the parents of girls in demanding large dowries and the extravagant marriage expenses incurred in blind imitation of the higher class, for the sake of making an impression on people.
Perhaps another reason is a downside of educational opportunities that have resulted in large numbers of women graduating from university, who, keen on having a career, reject early marriage, believing it will hinder their freedom.
Also, some youth satisfy their sexual urges and obtain temporary pleasure through unlawful relations. They opt for either of these because of financial reasons or an inability to start a family; or simply to evade commitment, marriage and responsibility, even though they are financially capable.