The phenomenon of spinsterhood and the aversion of many youth to marry have serious and dangerous psychological, economic, social, moral and behavioral consequences that affect the entire Ummah (nation). This is especially so in this era where there are many temptations and deviated means of satisfying desires. Thus, Sharee‘ah-approved marriage is the only way to protect a person from deviation and from slipping into vice and moral corruption. It is an issue of honor, virtue and vice.
This tragedy, making marriage difficult and placing hindrances in its way, entails various religious and worldly harms and violations:
Its Religious Effects
Hindering a purpose of creation, which is to grant people succession [to authority] upon the earth. Allah The Almighty Says (what means):
{And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels: ‘Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority.’} [Quran 2:30]
{It is He Who has made you successors upon the earth.}[Quran 35:39]
This verse means that you will succeed one other, one generation after the other, and this succession can only be achieved by having offspring through lawful marriage. Thus, hindering marriage is considered a violation of an aim of Allah The Almighty.
Violating the orders of Allah The Exalted who ordered that virgins should be given in marriage and who urged the young men to hasten to marriage. Thus, the state that both men and women have reached nowadays is considered a direct violation of the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet, . Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] {And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Then in falsehood do they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?} [Quran 16:72] {And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah Is All-Encompassing and Knowing.} [Quran 24:32]In a Hadeeth on the authority of Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, , said: “O young men! Those among you who are capable of getting married should get married as this is better for lowering the gaze and maintaining chastity. However, those who are not capable of that should fast, as fasting would extinguish their desire.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “If I knew that there were only ten days left in my life and I was capable of getting married, I would get married because of my fear of Fitnah (trials).”
Imaam Ahmad said, “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam and the one who urges you not to get married would be inducing you to something other than Islam.” This is why ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, said to a man who did not marry, “What would prevent a man from getting married except a defect or immorality?”
Decreasing the number of Muslims and violating the commands of the Prophet, , who said: “Marry women who are affectionate and very prolific [in giving birth], for I shall outnumber the other peoples [followers of other prophets] by you.”[Abu Daawood and others - Saheeh]
Blocking all means of good deeds and reward. This applies to both men and women who do not marry:
They are deprived of the reward of giving their children a good upbringing.
They are deprived of the reward of good treatment (from the husband to the wife and vice versa) and the woman would not be able to obtain the reward of being a good wife to her husband.
They would be deprived of a righteous child who would be dutiful to them in their life and who would supplicate to Allah The Almighty for them after their death. The Prophet, , said: “When the son of Aadam dies, his deeds will all come to an end, except for three: continuous charity, knowledge from which people derive benefit from, and a righteous child who would supplicate Allah for him.”
Blocking the way of sustenance. The Prophet, said: “Three [types of people] will be helped by Allah: the one who fights in the way of Allah [the Mujaahid], the one who wants to get married in order to preserve his chastity and the subject of a self-emancipating contract who wants to pay off his debt.”
The Effects on Women
The effects of spinsterhood on women are very serious because they make the woman torn between two choices the sweetest of which is still bitter.
Loneliness and depression
It can lead to suffering from loneliness and depression and being attacked by diseases and psychological obsessions. Such a woman spends the day worried and distressed and the night in sorrow and sleeplessness. She spends all her life waiting for someone who can save her from this torture.
Dr. Manaal Zakariyya, a psychologist and a professor at Cairo University, says, “A spinster is psychologically and emotionally anxious, especially if she was treated with pity or made to feel inferior, or if she felt that her position is criticized in society. It is confirmed that marriage and its intimacy, emotions and the satisfaction of instinctive and psychological needs that follow it, are among the most important means of maintaining psychological and neurological health. It is difficult for us women to live without men.”
Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He Created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He Placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21]
Envy
One such woman says, “Whenever I am invited to any of my friends’ weddings, I choke back my painful bitterness and burning tears, and in my heart the blazing of my wounds flares up as I see them getting married one after another and going to their awaited paradise and stable life, in spite of the fact that some of them are younger and less beautiful than me. Then, I return to my prison sadly and I invoke Allah The Almighty sincerely, saying: “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.””
Another one says, “I have cursed all the officials and wished I could sink my nails and teeth into them. If I had had the authority, I would have enacted laws that would force men to marry spinsters and prevent leaving women unmarried.”