The Dowry of the Daughters of the Prophet,
The dowry is one of the wife’s rights. It has to be paid by a man to his wife. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously.} [Quran 4:4] The Sunnah of the Prophet, , teaches us not to ask for large dowries and that the best dowry is the smallest. Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Asking for a large dowry is unfavorable because it diminishes the marriage blessings and makes it sorrowful.” The Prophet, , married his daughters off with small dowries. After there was an agreement to marry ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, to Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, who was the dearest and youngest daughter of the Prophet, , ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, went to the Prophet, , and the Prophet, asked him: “What will you give her as a dowry?” ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I have nothing to give her as a dowry.” Then, the Prophet, , asked him:“Where is your Hatami armor that I gave you?”‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I have it,” so, the Prophet said:“Give it to her as a dowry.” ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with her, did so, and they married. The price of this armor was four hundred dirhams. This was narrated by Ibn Sa’d in At-Tabaqaat. This was the dowry of the daughter of the Prophet, , who was his dearest and youngest daughter and who is the premier woman among the people of Paradise.
What some people do nowadays by asking for large dowries does not correspond with the Sunnah of the Prophet, . This is a serious matter that harms individuals and society, while Islam is the religion of ease.
In marriage, ease should not apply to dowries only but it should also extend to the wedding banquet that is made in order to declare the marriage. Islam encourages us to give a wedding banquet and the Prophet, , used to do so. The Prophet, , would give modest banquets for his weddings. It was narrated that Safiyyah bint Shaybah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, “The Prophet made a banquet for some of his wives with one bushel of barley.”
It was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, , saw ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf scented with a yellowish perfume. He asked him: “What is this?”He replied, “I married a woman for gold equal to the weight of a date stone." The Prophet said to him:“May Allah bless you. Give a wedding banquet, even if with one sheep.”[Al-Bukhari]
The wedding banquets of the daughters of the Prophet, , were examples of modesty. In the wedding of Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, the Prophet, , said to ‘Ali, “There has to be a banquet for the bride.”Sa’d ibn Mu’aath, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I have a ram.” Then, a group of Al-Ansaar (helpers) collected handfuls of corn and the Prophet, , provided the banquet. This incident was narrated by Sa’d in At-Tabaqaat.
How the Prophet, , Looked After His Daughters After They were Married
People differ regarding how the relationship of the parents with their daughter should be after she is married. Some them think that parents should leave their daughter alone or even sever relations with her and thus they do not visit her at all. Such parents claim that this is for her to be happy in her marriage and have a strong relationship with her husband and in-laws. On the other hand, other parents interfere in the life of their daughter directly and try to know everything about it. Such interference has a negative impact and could lead to marriage problems and even divorce. What is the guidance of the Prophet, , in this regard?
The Prophet, , would visit his married daughters. He would joke with them and make them happy. He visited Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, after her marriage and invoked Allah The Almighty for her and her husband to protect them and their offspring from Satan.
The Prophet, , was never too busy to think about his daughters, not even during the hardest of times that he faced. For example, when he wanted to go to Badr to fight the Quraysh and its fearless men, Ruqayyah, may Allah be pleased with her, was sick, so he ordered ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, may Allah be pleased with him, to stay with her in Madeenah in order to nurse her and gave him a share of the Badr booty.
It is the duty of the father to preserve his daughter’s home and her happiness with her husband and to only intervene when necessary. He should reconcile them in a way that would ensure the stability and clarity of the family atmosphere.
Once, there was a disagreement between ‘Ali and Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with them, and the Prophet, , intervened and reconciled them.
Sometimes, a wife may get divorced unjustly and therefore she and her family could be devastated. Those who suffer because of such an incident can console themselves with the fact that two of the daughters of the Prophet, , were divorced unjustly by ‘Utbah and ‘Utaybah, the two sons of Abu Lahab. They were divorced by these two men because they believed in their father - the Prophet of this Ummah (nation), , and the revelation that was sent down to him. They believed in a message that made Quraysh furious. ‘Utbah was married to Ruqayyah, may Allah be pleased with her, the daughter of the Prophet, , and when the verse (what means): {May the hands of Abu Lahab be ruined, and ruined is he.} [Quran 111:1] was revealed, Abu Lahab said to his son, “I will disown you if you do not divorce Muhammad’s daughter.” He thus divorced her before consummating the marriage. Abu Lahab also ordered his son ‘Utaybah to divorce Umm Kulthoom, may Allah be pleased with her, because he thought that this would divert the Prophet, , from his Da‘wah (Call).
Herein lies a good lesson for parents and daughters - to be patient and to seek the reward of Allah The Almighty. They should know that being divorced unjustly is a trial for which they would be compensated. Allah The Almighty compensated these two daughters of the Prophet, , with better husbands than ‘Utbah and ‘Utaybah.
They married a righteous and generous husband: ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, may Allah be pleased with him, who was one of the ten who were given the glad tidings of entering Paradise, and who was the third of the Rightly Guided Caliphs. ‘Uthmaan, may Allah be pleased with him, married Ruqayyah, may Allah be pleased with her. After her death, he married her sister, Umm Kulthoom, may Allah be pleased with her. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:19]
Some fathers lose a daughter through her death, which is the inevitable end of all living creatures; Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And He is the subjugator over His servants, and He sends over you guardian-angels until, when death comes to one of you, Our messengers take him, and they do not fail [in their duties].} [Quran 6:61] Anyone who loses a daughter to death should know that the Prophet, , lost all his children, both male and female, with the exception of Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her. He grieved over the death of his daughters and shed tears when parting with them. Anas ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated the incidents surrounding Umm Kulthoom’s death, saying, “We were [in the funeral procession] of one of the daughters of the Prophet and he was sitting by the side of the grave. I saw his eyes shedding tears. He said: ‘Is there anyone among you who did not have sexual intercourse with his wife last night [i.e., anyone not in ritual impurity]?’Abu Talhah said, ‘I did not.’ So, the Prophet told him to get down, and he got down into her grave.” [Al-Bukhari] These tears were not due to dissatisfaction with the fate of Allah The Almighty, but were rather tears of mercy that are shed from the eyes of the merciful.
Usaamah ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with him, said,
One of the daughters of the Prophet sent a messenger to him to come and see her son who was dying. The Prophet said [to the messenger]:“Go back and tell her that whatever Allah takes is His, and whatever He gives is His, and He sets a limited, fixed term for everything. She has to be patient and seek the reward [from Allah].”
However, she sent the messenger back to the Prophet again, swearing that he had to go to her. So, the Prophet got up, and so did Sa‘d ibn 'Ubaadah, Mu‘aath ibn Jabal, Ubayy ibn Ka‘b, and Zayd ibn Thaabit [and went to her].When the child was brought to the Prophet his breath was disturbed in his chest as if it were in a tight water skin. Upon seeing this, the eyes of the Prophet were flooded with tears, and Sa‘d said to him, “O Prophet! Why is this?” The Prophet said:“This is mercy which Allah puts in the hearts of His slaves, and Allah bestows His mercy only on those of His slaves who are merciful.’ [Al-Bukhari]
When any of the daughters of the Prophet, , died, he would supervise her Ghusl (ritual washing of the dead body) and shrouding. He would perform the funeral prayer over her, bury her, stand by her grave and invoke Allah The Almighty for her. It was narrated on the authority of Umm ‘Atiyyah, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said: “When we were washing the dead body of the daughter of the Prophet he entered and told us to wash her body three, five or more times with water, lotus and jujube, then put camphor at the end. He asked us to allow him to enter when we had finished. When we finished, we let him in. He gave us his garment and said: ‘Make this the closest layer of the shroud to her body.’ ”
As for the method of Ghusl, Umm ‘Atiyyah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “When we washed the body of the daughter of the Prophet he said to us: ‘Begin with the organs on her right side and the parts that are washed in ablution.’” [Al-Bukhari]
The Prophet, , would stand by the grave of any of his daughters and invoke Allah The Almighty for her. Ruqayyah, may Allah be pleased with her, was sick during the Battle of Badr, so the Prophet, , ordered ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, may Allah be pleased with him, to stay with her in Madeenah so as to nurse her. When the Prophet, , returned, she had died, so he went to the Baqee‘ Al-Gharqad graveyard, stood by her grave and invoked Allah The Almighty to forgive her.
We ask Allah The Almighty to guide our daughters to the right path, to grant them chastity and concealment, and to make them follow the example of the Mothers of the Believers and the daughters of the Prophet, .