I was shocked to see a five-year-old girl approaching me sporting a top that bared her stomach and midriff, a manicure and and elaborate makeup, with high-heeled shoes and a haircut like a dancer. I was shocked because I did not find my beautiful relative as I imagined her; she did not have a ribbon in her hair, or wear a simple but pretty brocaded dress or cute shoes with a bow. I looked at her and could not embrace, kiss or play with her. She stood before me looking like a young woman whom I should formally shake hands with and say the words that her eyes divulged that she wished to hear: “How beautiful you are!”
When I sat down, I asked her what she had learned at preschool. She began singing songs from music videos in a soft voice, feeling no shyness or hesitation in singing and dancing with all the “appropriate” gestures. When I told her that such songs are shameful, she replied that she has memorized others as well. Then she carried on singing other songs that express the ardor of love and the heartache that people suffer because of it. I then wished peace for her small heart and felt my own heart ache for what I was experiencing. I wondered what had happened to this little girl and her entire generation. Why did she give up her innocent childhood and seek to be a half-dressed female, singing and dancing to songs of passionate love?
Childhood Innocence Murdered by the Media
Dr. ‘Aaliyah Al-Kurdi, a specialist in women's and children's affairs, accused the media of killing the childhood innocence of girls. She added that we find there is a small space for real children's programs in comparison to that given to other programs, and even children's channels do not reflect the stage of childhood and are distant from the real life of children. They present imaginary illusions that the child cannot attain. Programs for youth, however, are easy to imitate and identify with. Dr. Al-Kurdi attributed this phenomenon to another factor, namely, the decrease of the time which the mother spends with her children. Children do not live a stable childhood because most mothers are employees. Hence, the child does not take his due right of upbringing and care. Additionally, all the influencing factors inside and outside the family do not move in a normal way.
Moreover, society has failed to introduce a good example to children, given that imitation and emulation form a natural part of the life of a child. The role of the Masjid (mosque) as an effective institution of upbringing is clearly close to nonexistent, and there is a deficit in presenting the correct Islamic awareness.
Not Only the Media
Dr. Fu'aadah Al-Bakri, a professor in the Media Department, Faculty of Arts, Hilwan University, has a different point of view. She believes that the media is not the only one responsible for this phenomenon; it is also the responsibility of everything surrounding the child, such as the family, schools and other institutions concerned with upbringing.
Institutions concerned with upbringing must play their roles, especially the family that must contain the children and care for them. It should not leave the children prey to the media, and they must select all that benefits them, protect them from negative influences and help them live according to their age and stage of childhood. She reasons that if the children do not live their childhood normally, they will not live any other stage of life in a stable manner. The mother has to control what her children watch and plan the hours of watching television.
Dr. Al-Bakri stresses that there is a heavy responsibility placed on schools and teachers as well as mothers. Teachers have to be a good example for the child. They must clearly know their roles and instruct the children throughout the stage of childhood. That is because there is a particular stage where the child automatically imitates his teacher. The child acquires his values from his family and teachers. Therefore, we should not ignore the role of the social institutions around the child, as the child is affected by them. We must not only blame the media.
Upbringing and Role Models
Dr. Nabeel As-Samaalooti, professor of sociology, assures that children intuitively tend to imitate adults in their words and behavior, which is something normal. Thus, the process of upbringing is not based on logic and dialogue as much as it depends on righteous role models; if the example is righteous, the upbringing will be good; however, if it is evil then the upbringing will be bad. Accordingly, we should not blame the child, and instead we should blame those around him.
Parents should blame themselves alone when they see their daughter imitating women who wear immoral clothing and heavy make-up and behave freely and immorally. This is because they do not supervise what they watch, nor do they instruct them properly. The mother has to foster and nurture ethical and religious motives among her children, so that pleasing Allah The Almighty becomes the criterion. We should live our life with our values, ethics and culture.
When religious and ethical motives are deeply instilled in the children, we will not worry about them after they pass the stage of childhood and grow older, since they would have received sufficient ethical, cultural and religious immunity.
Therefore, we should be careful about the persons with whom the child mixes and be sure that they have upright behavior and are truthful in sayings, actions and daily values.
In the past, such words were intended for persons who were close to and always present around the child. In the present, the circle of influence has expanded and now includes television, cinema, the street, the district and school. All these means have an impact on the child, and we simply cannot control them. Some social circles are free and others are still morally observant. Also, there are some good TV channels and others that are corrupt; there are decent neighbors and those who are immoral. Indeed, children imitate the behavior of all adults they are exposed to.
Culture of Images
Dr. Muhsin Khidhr, professor of Education Foundations, ‘Ain Shams University, sees that when children imitate adults this is a normal phenomenon and that need not raise any eyebrows. It is a feature of development throughout different stages. What causes worry, however, is the overpowering image culture that extends over the personality of our children and adolescents. Mothers are no longer considered the role model for the girl in the house. In the past, the girl used to try to imitate her mother's role in the kitchen and looking after babies, and so the daughter played the same role with her doll. Similarly, teachers and elder brothers and sisters are no longer the example; rather, role models have become unsound examples that the culture of images imposes and propagates night and day. Local television and satellite channels present the worst examples to our children – deformed and manmade examples that commercial media prepares and produces to gain money and success. Such examples impress sexuality in males and femininity in females.
The media takes advantage of the absence of role models to present vulgarity, nakedness, dancing, lewdness and provocative competition between the predator and the prey. This takes place at a time when good examples in the home, the media and schools are absent, and when the deterioration of morality and values prevail, along with the absence of a common objective that unites all the classes of society together. Accordingly, there is a wide void that is filled by dancers, singers, play-station fanatics, heroes of American cinema and the clowns of youth cinema.
When Will We Wake Up?
Dr. Muhsin Khidhr stresses that a major social project should exist, because the real issue is the absence of such projects and real heroes. Therefore, it is essential that we introduce genuine examples, away from jesters, clowns and materialists who do not care about values or belonging. The society must regain its mind, consciousness and major objectives, for the family cannot play its role alone while it is separated from the society.
Dr. ‘Aaliyah stresses the role of the family and demands that the mother spend a longer portion of her time with her children. She wishes that the role of the Masjid in bringing up the children returns as it did half a century ago. She adds that the space dedicated for children in the media should increase, along with selecting good programs and producing Arabic cartoons for children that represent our reality and our Arab Muslim society.
Arab Information Center