Secret marriage is a new and dangerous phenomenon that is currently emerging in some Muslim communities. The danger of this phenomenon lies mainly in its secret occurrence. Hence, most people are unaware of it. Consequently, it takes them by surprise, harming the most valuable thing they have because it preys upon their preserved honor and chastity. What is even more dangerous is that this phenomenon entails cunning and deception and attempts to legalize what is unlawful.
This phenomenon is the result of ignorance about the rulings of Islam and the transgression of its limits. Running after a false cause, a temporary desire and a tendency to escape from social responsibilities, falsehood is made to look like the truth to violate the prohibitions of Allah The Exalted in the name of the law that was set by Him and His Messenger, .
Sharee‘ah-Approved Marriage or Prostitution?
This dangerous act is done by many young men out of their ignorance or disrespect of their religion. Young ladies are convinced of secret marriage because of the intermixing between the sexes that is common in the places of education, work and entertainment.
Many of the devils from mankind seek to deceive girls and seduce them. A young man lies in wait for a young woman just like a beast of prey waits for its victim. He deceives her into believing that he loves her and wants to marry her, but what prevents him from proposing to her immediately is his financial inability. As a result of repeated dates, the young man succeeds in affecting the emotions of the girl whose bad luck threw her in his way. He uses all kinds of temptations to arouse her desire, which is very easy as whenever a man is alone with a woman the devil is their third companion. Then, he tells her that it is possible to marry her secretly or to conclude an unregistered marriage contract (as it is known in some Arab countries).
In this way, the marriage contract is concluded without informing the family of either the young man or the girl. The marriage takes place without being announced and probably without specifying a dowry or holding a wedding or a banquet, and without a house for the two spouses and without any furniture.
Girls are easily deceived because those young men convince them that this marriage is, undoubtedly, a Sharee‘ah-approved marriage and that they will remain like this until they can afford an official marriage after which they will then go to their families and propose to them officially without telling their families about their previous marriage.
This type of marriage contract enables the young man to have sexual intercourse with the girl as if she is his wife. They meet in certain places and at certain times, taking all the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy so as to keep their marriage unknown to their families.
However, this is not everything, as some young men truly believe that their marriage in this way is approved by the Sharee‘ah; hence, they continue deceiving other girls and could marry two, three or four with every one of them completely unaware of the others. Moreover, if one of these young men, who disrespects the religion of Allah The Exalted, finds a new girl, he would divorce one of these girls and dump her in order to marry another one. Furthermore, some of these arrogant young men may marry more than four girls at the same time because this costs them almost nothing.
What Happens Later?
Most of these young men do not fulfill their promise and the day when the young man is supposed to go to the girl’s family to propose to her never comes. This makes the girl a hostage to this sinful relationship.
If the young woman realizes that the young man has deceived her and has ruined her life, she finds herself pushed into what is worse. This may cause other girls to get the same infection. Such people will continue to deteriorate until they get used to contracting secret marriages every year, month or even every week, thinking it to be insignificant while it is, in the sight of Allah The Exalted, awful.
Secret marriage has left the door wide open for some young girls at an incredible age (sometimes less than 16), to marry secretly several times in search of money or to satisfy her sexual desires. If one of her boyfriends leaves her, she would search for another to marry secretly as if she has never heard of the Islamic concept of ‘Iddah (waiting period), and how could she hear of an ‘Iddah when her marriage was invalid in the first place? This happens while the families of those girls are heedless of what is happening and are unaware of the fact that their daughters are disgracing themselves and their families and getting accustomed to this adulterous marriage.
This necessitates enacting a law that sets a punishment for this crime that our societies have not known previously.
Some people have fallen prey to secret marriage with good intentions, and it is just as likely that others might slip into it with good intentions also. Hence, we have to do our best to clarify why this secret marriage is not approved by the Sharee‘ah.
Marriage is a Social Institution
Marriage, in its essence, is a social institution that raises man above the state of animalism and material desires to place him within the boundaries of a spiritual relationship. Marriage takes man away from the isolation of loneliness to a world of happiness and sociability. Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman that is approved by Sharee‘ah and blessed by Allah The Almighty. It must not turn into something trivial: a risk, an adventure, or playing with the religion and the Sharee‘ah.
On the contrary, marriage should lead to a stable life, good company, making a family that is built on affection and mercy and establishing a new Muslim home that assumes the responsibility of raising Muslim offspring who worship Allah The Almighty, observe His commandments and support His religion.
However, we find nothing of this in secret marriages. There is no intimacy between two families and no permission of the woman’s guardian. Additionally, there is no dowry, financial support for the wife, no house, no family, no children, no common life, no right for the husband to be in charge, no obedience on the woman’s part, no announcement to others regarding the marriage and no inheritance between the two lovers.
Hence, we confirm that the secret marriage is neither 'conventional', as they allege, nor a Sharee‘ah-approved marriage, as Allah The Almighty wants.
Allah The Almighty commands that marriage should be distinguished from prostitution and illicit relations, Saying (what means):
Thus, Allah The Almighty commands us to observe the following conditions in marriage:
- Permission of the woman’s guardian
- Presence of witnesses
- Dowry
- Contract
- Announcement and playing the duff (a small drum-like instrument), which was made permissible as well as holding a banquet to guarantee that it is announced.