How wonderful it is for a person to live among people whom he loves and who love him! When one loses this love in his environment and society, he lives in wretchedness and misery even if he possesses the entire world. Thus it was not strange that a Companion of the Prophet, , asked him, “O Messenger of Allah, guide me to an action which if I do, Allah will love me and people will also love me.”
It is true that the pleasure of Allah The Almighty is the ultimate wish and purpose of the Muslim, but there is no contradiction between seeking the pleasure of Allah The Almighty and winning people’s love. Moreover, we are certain that we could not win people’s love without being loved by Allah The Exalted, because the Prophet, , informed us that when Allah The Almighty loves a servant, He makes the people on earth love him, and when He hates a servant, people's hearts also detest him.
Thus, there is no contradiction between pleasing Allah The Almighty and utilizing every possible means to endear oneself to other people. We hope that people consider the marvelous situation of the revered Companion, Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, when he came to the Prophet, , asking him to supplicate for him. What Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, wanted was not an office, or money, or high social status, or children; rather, he said, “O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah to make me and my mother beloved to His believing slaves and make them beloved to us.”The Prophet,, said:“O Allah, make this little slave of Yours and his mother beloved to your believing slaves and make the believers beloved to them.”
The Muslim’s keenness on endearing himself to others should not be for a worldly purpose; it should be observed in obedience to the Sharee'ah of Allah The Almighty that commands Muslims to be brothers and to love one another. Also, a Muslim should be keen on endearing himself to others in order to open their hearts for accepting the call of the truth. This great meaning is embodied in the Hadeeth in which the Prophet, , said: “Whoever has three [qualities] will taste the sweetness of faith: to love Allah and His Messenger more than anyone else; to love a person only for the sake of Allah ….”
Furthermore, one’s faith can never be perfect unless he loves and hates for the sake of Allah The Almighty. The Prophet, , said: “He has perfect faith: a person who loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah and withholds for the sake of Allah .”
Cheerfulness and Good Manners
No doubt, good manners and kindness are among the most important things that endear one to others. Cheerfulness and smiling upon meeting people implants an indescribable love in their hearts. A Companion described the Prophet, , saying, “I have seen no person more smiling than the Messenger of Allah .”
Humbleness, Leniency and Kindness
Nothing endears oneself to people more than dealing with them humbly and leniently. Whoever considers the biography of the Prophet, , will find that he was the finest example in this regard. Allah The Almighty Said (what means): {So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.}[Quran 3:159]
Whenever the Prophet, , would meet one of his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, he would not move away from him until he (the Companion) would leave first.
Whenever the prophet, , shook hands with a man, he would not take his hand back until the man would take his hand back first.
Whenever a man wanted to talk with the Prophet, , in private, the Prophet, , would stay and listen to him until the man would finish his speech.
A small girl would stop the Prophet, , in the street and speak with him, and he would not leave her until she would finish and leave first.
Also, the Prophet, , used to serve himself. He never hit a slavegirl or a servant. He never allowed anyone to prevent others from meeting him, and consequently, all those who wanted to meet him managed to do so.
Just imagine how people would love a man who has all these good qualities!
Giving Gifts Instigates Love
Exchanging gifts is one of the most important causes of implanting love and affection among people. People by nature love whoever gives them gifts. Hence, the Prophet, , said: “Give gifts to one another, you love one another.”
Spreading Salaam
Spreading the greeting of Salaam among the members of the society is a cause of love, as we have detailed in a previous article.
Endearing oneself to others requires, after the guidance and support of Allah The Almighty, intelligence in dealing with them. It would be enough in this regard to apply the Hadeeth in which the Prophet, , said, “You would not be able to please all people with your money, but you could do so through your cheerfulness and good manners.”