It is beautiful to see a child waiting for his father to return home to share with him his food and play with him. Such a child longs to hear nice stories that would remain with him throughout his life. The father should never neglect this issue regardless of his numerous tasks.
Imaam Muslim narrated,
A man sat late at night with the Messenger of Allah and then came to his family and found that his children had already slept. His wife brought food to him, but he swore that he would not eat because of his children (having gone to sleep without food). He then ate and when he went to the Messenger of Allah and mentioned that to him, the Prophet said: “Whoever swears and then finds it better not to fulfill it, must make expiation for his oath and do the thing that is better.”
This was one of the honorable Companions who was sitting with the Prophet, , until late at night to discuss the affairs of the state during a very serious phase; however, this did not prevent him from taking care of his children when he returned home. So, he would eat and sit with them just as he would sit with his peers outside the house.
On that night, he returned home late and the whole family missed the usual session, so he was upset and swore that he would not eat to punish himself for missing this daily duty.
Dear father, it is a beautiful thing to meet your children and wife around the dinner table to ask about each other and exchange love and cordiality. In this way, smiles will be on all faces and happiness will fill the hearts.
Keenness on holding such a warm meeting when eating together is not an instructive luxury, but it is rather a lucrative, important and balanced educational method. Meeting at meal times and exchanging kind words and dialogue between parents and their children give them emotional satisfaction, psychological stability and a feeling that they are accepted and respected by their parents. Consequently, the children develop strong self-confidence and will be ready to accept the parent’s directions.
Hence, we suggest a series of practical ideas and thoughts that have educational dimensions that can be discussed and applied during meal times:
1- Open discussion:
Dear educator and nurturer, you can hold a discussion session with the members of your family when having afternoon tea or dinner. What would be new in this regard are new topics, such as:
- How can we get rid of coldness in winter?
- How can we organize the process of buying the household needs?
- How can we arrange a family visit to some of our relatives in the neighborhood or in another city?
This discussion aims at creating an atmosphere of love and cordiality among family members, along with teaching children how to express their opinions and feelings. Moreover, this discussion will teach the children some manners of dialogue and debate cordially and practically.
2- Personality of the month:
Dear educator and nurturer, you can choose a historic Islamic figure with your children to be the motto of the month. You can speak with your children about this personality during dinner-time and try to teach your children everything about that personality before the end of the month.
3- Moral characteristic of the month:
You can also select a good moral characteristic for each month and then participate with your children in collecting the stories about it. After that, you can agree with them to adopt practical methods to apply it.
4- Unforgettable days:
Have you ever tried to tell your children real stories about yourself or some of the situations through which you have passed? A good time to do this would be during lunch or dinner or when drinking tea. You will see your children’s eyes shining while they follow you eagerly.
Dear father, remember your own stories and rearrange them to choose one to relate to your children during dinner tonight, if Allah wills. I assure you that you will be pleased with the result.
5- Mother should rest today:
On this day, the father and children will grant the dear mother a vacation from the kitchen and cooking. You, honorable father, in cooperation with your children will prepare dinner or lunch, wash the dishes and make tea. This will allow the family to experience the spirit of cooperation, love and cordiality. All members of the family will also realize the real value of the daily efforts of the mother to make all of them happy and comfortable. This day will certainly be wonderful. So, let us apply the idea and enjoy its benefits.
In fact, every day we have many opportunities in the lives of our children, and we can make use of these to direct our children and guide them in an efficient and entertaining way. Everyday life affairs and work may detract us from these chances or we may be unaware that the children’s readiness to accept directions and advice during these times is very strong. That is because they allow us to show feelings of love and appreciation towards our
children.
One of the best chances is meal times. Educational studies confirm this fact. For example, a Spanish study confirmed that gathering around the dinner table reinforces the stability of the mental and psychological health of the children. The study also revealed that adolescents who share meals with their parents enjoy good health, and that the daily meals that bring all family members more than five times a week have a good influence on the children’s psychological health.
So, let us start today and transform meal times from a boring habit to a very successful business dinner or lunch.