People may wrong each other in various ways using their tongues, hands or other parts of the body. This may occur in their financial or non-financial actions. This may afflict the person himself, his honor, wealth, property or family. If a person reacts to these wrongdoings he will at first blush, and then avenge himself and his desires. As a consequence, great evildoings will ensue and enmity will spread in society. Allah The Almighty commands His believing slaves to be patient, restrain their anger and repel evil deeds by that which is better; He Says (what means): {And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].}[Quran 41:34-35]
We are in dire need of this great characteristic in order to strengthen relations, bring hearts together, reconstruct fragile social relations and gain the satisfaction of Allah The Almighty and His Paradise. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good.}[Quran 3:133-134]
Sharee‘ah permits us to punish, in equal terms, those who transgress our rights. However, it points out that restraining anger is better. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed. But if you are patient - it is better for those who are patient.}[Quran 16:126]
Virtues of Restraining Anger
The person who restrains his anger receives a great reward. In addition to what was mentioned previously, there are a lot of virtues stated in the texts of Sharee'ah.
1- Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most beloved to Allah The Almighty? Which deed is most beloved to Allah The Almighty?’ The Prophet said:‘The most beloved people to Allah The Almighty are those who are most beneficial to people. The best deeds in the sight of Allah The Almighty is to make a Muslim delighted, remove distress from him, pay a debt on behalf of him or satisfy his hunger. To help a brother in need is better to me than remaining on a retreat (exclusively for worship) in this mosque [His mosque in Madeenah] - for a month. Whoever desists from his anger, Allah The Almighty will conceal his ‘Awrah [privacy or faults]. Whoever restrains his rage — even though he can vent it— Allah The Almighty will fill his heart with hope on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever walks with his brother to help him fulfill a need until it is fulfilled, Allah The Almighty will make his feet firm on the Day [i.e. while walking across the Bridge over Hell] when feet will be unable to stand firmly’”
2- It was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah, , said: “There is no dose that is more rewarded by Allah The Almighty than a dose of anger that a slave restrains for His sake.”
3- Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet passed by some people while they were wrestling. He therefore, asked: ‘What is this?’ People said: ‘So and so does not wrestle anyone without beating him.’The Prophet said: ‘Should I inform you about someone who is stronger than him? He is a man who is enraged by another but restrains his anger so that he overcomes that man, overcomes his devil and overcomes the devil of that man.’”
4- Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet went to the mosque and gestured with his hand to the ground, saying:“Whoever gives respite to someone who is poor or gives up [all or part of] his due, Allah The Almighty will protect him from the intensely hot flames of Hell. Indeed, deeds that lead to Paradise are as hard as the rugged land going over a hill [he said this thrice]. Indeed, deeds that lead to Hell are as easy as the level land on a plain. The fortunate person is he who is protected from Fitnah [tribulations]. There is no dose which is dearer to me than a dose of anger that a slave restrains. If a slave restrains it for the sake of Allah The Almighty, He will surely fill his heart with faith.””
5- It was narrated on the authority of Anas Al-Juhani, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah, , said: “Whoever restrains anger while he has the power to effect it, Allah The Almighty will call him before the other creatures on the Day of Resurrection and will allow him to choose any maiden of Paradise that he wishes.”
The righteous predecessors, may Allah be pleased with them, were brought up according to these noble manners.
1- ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “If a person fears Allah The Almighty, he will not vent his anger. If a person fears Allah The Almighty, he will not fulfill his desires [of unlawful acts]. Had it not been for the Day of Resurrection, you would have seen different things.”
2- Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “'Uyaynah ibn Hisn went to Madeenah and stayed with his nephew, Al-Hurr bin Qays, who was one of those people who were close to ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him. ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, would sit with and consult Those who memorise the Quran and worshippers, both old and young. 'Uyaynah said to Al-Hurr, ‘My nephew, this leader listens to your opinion. Will you obtain permission for me to sit with him?'’ Al-Hurr asked ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, for permission, which he gave. When ‘Uyaynah went to ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, he said to him, ‘O son of Al-Khattaab, you neither bestow much on us nor judge justly between us’ ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, became angry and was about to beat him, but Al-Hurr said, ‘O Commander of the Believers, Allah The Almighty said to His Prophet (what means):{Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.} [Quran 7:199] This man is one of the ignorant.’” (The narrator commented), “By Allah, ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, meditated deeply and adhered to this verse when it was recited to him; he would meditate and adhere strictly to the Book of Allah The Almighty.”
3- A slave came to Abu Tharr, may Allah be pleased with him, after he had broken the leg of one of his sheep. Abu Tharr, may Allah be pleased with him, asked him, “Who broke the leg of this sheep?” The slave said, “I did it deliberately to enrage you so that you would beat me and commit a sin.” Then, Abu Tharr, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I will enrage the one who incited you to enrage me (i.e. the devil).” He then set him free.
4- A man cursed ‘Adiyy ibn Haatim, may Allah be pleased with him, while he remained silent. When the man ended his words, ‘Adiyy, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “If you have other bad things you want to say to me, you should do so before the young men of the district come; if they hear you saying such things to their master, they will be enraged.”
5- Muhammad ibn Ka‘b said, “If a person has three traits, his faith in Allah The Almighty will be complete: when he is satisfied, his satisfaction does not lead him to falsehood; when he is angry, his anger does not drive him out of the truth; if he is powerful, he does not take what he has no right to take.”
6- A man said to Wahb ibn Munabbih “So and so cursed you.” Wahb said, “Did the devil not find a messenger other than you?”
7- Al-Ghazaali said, “If a person’s anger is stirred, he needs to restrain it, and this requires great effort. However, if he does so for a period of time, this will become his habit and his anger will no longer be stirred; even if it is aroused, it will not be difficult to restrain. After that, the person can be described as one who forbears.”
8- Ibn Katheer mentioned some of the characteristics of the people of Paradise when he commented on the verse (what means): {And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord … who restrain anger and who pardon the people.}[Quran 3:133-134] He said, “If their anger is aroused, they restrain it so that they do not act upon it; moreover, they pardon those who wrong them.”
9- Ibn Katheer mentioned in the biography of ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez that a man once talked so harshly to him that he became enraged. When ‘Umar was about to beat him, he restrained himself, and said to the man, “Did you want to make the devil instigate me by the glory of [my] authority so that I would afflict you today with what you would afflict me with tomorrow [on the Day of Resurrection]? Go away, may Allah grant you well-being. We are in no need of disputing with you.”
Dear Muslims, let us accustom ourselves to restraining anger and let us be known as people who forbear so that Allah The Almighty may fill our hearts with faith and wisdom and raise our ranks on the Day of Resurrection!