Question
Assalaamu ‘Alaykum,
I believe that I am a religiously committed Muslim girl. I try to adhere to Islamic principles and teachings. The dearest acts of worship to me are fasting, charity, Hajj and ‘Umrah, even though I have not performed Hajj or ‘Umrah yet. I have been religiously observant for about a year. Four months ago, I started feeling that my faith was decreasing. I no longer savor Khushoo‘ (a state of humility and sincere submission) in prayers or while reciting Thikr (words of remembrance of Allah The Almighty). I perform the daily prayers regularly as well as the voluntary prayers, and the confirmed and regular Sunnah prayers, praise be to Allah The Exalted.
I recite the authentic morning and evening Athkaar (plural of Thikr) and the bedtime Athkaar. I learn Quran at the mosque and I have memorized 5 Chapters of the Noble Quran, thanks to Allah. I intend to memorize the whole Quran, Allah willing. One of the solutions that I came up with to revive and renew my faith is adding a new act of worship to my daily worship program, but I do not know what to add. I perform all the confirmed and regular Sunnah prayers and cannot add more. As for fasting, I fast at least three days each month. I have no time for reading books on Tafseer (Quranic exegesis) or Seerah (biography) or listening to religious lessons on tapes as I used to do earlier. I rarely pray at night because of being exhausted after a hard working day.
In addition, I used to feel bad and reproach myself if I heard the Athaan (call to prayer) while I had not performed ablution and my heart would ache out of fear that I had delayed the prayer for even a minute. If I were sleeping, I would wake up before the Athaan for prayer and enthusiastically get ready for the prayer. O Allah, how I miss that feeling! Could you help me restore this feeling, please? I no longer feel guilty if the Iqaamah (second call to prayer) is proclaimed and I have not begun to pray yet.
I implore Allah The Exalted all the time to bestow upon me the sweetness of faith and grant me steadfastness, but I have lost the state of spiritual humility in my prayer and other acts of worship. They have become mere dull habits and heavy burdens to me.
Nowadays, I perform the daily prayers, but I feel as if I am not praying at all. Prayer has become mere physical movements to me. My heart and mind strive weakly to restore my lost faith. I am very scared for myself. I am tired of it; I want my faith back. I fear that I might die like this without relishing the sweetness of faith. How long will this feeling last? Ramadan is approaching; how can I witness Ramadan without my strength and the sweetness of faith in my heart?
I apologize for my lengthy complaint, but I really need your help.
Another repercussion for this spiritual slackness is that people consider me a religiously committed Muslim, who adheres to the Islamic dress code and complies with its principles and teachings. Some may even think that I am rather strict and inflexible. They advise me to be more lenient, for Allah is The All-Forgiving and Generous and He will grant us Paradise. They advise me not to put so much pressure on myself.
Lately, I have started feeling that I am showing off before people. They have no idea that my heart is void of faith and that my prayers may be rejected. I feel that I have become a hypocrite.
I will give you an example so that you decide for yourselves. Sometimes while praying, if I notice that there is someone around watching me, I become really watchful and careful in my prayer and with my clothes. Is this ostentation?
How do I know if this is ostentation or not? I am afraid for myself and fed up with this spiritual slackness. My friend is struggling with the same dilemma. Can you help us out? What should we do?
Indeed, Allah does not allow the reward of the doers of good to be lost.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Ever Merciful.
Dear sister,
Assalaamu ‘Alaykum,
First, we would like to welcome you to your very own website Islamweb. We implore Allah The Exalted to help us and guide us to help all Muslims and supplicate Him to accept our deeds. We implore Him to bless you, guide others to be like you and protect you from all harm. May Allah make you steadfast on the right path and render you and all Muslims among His pious slaves and close allies.
Second, with regard to the problem clarified in your message, it is really a disturbing and troublesome problem. In principle, as a human being gets older, he tends to be more obedient to his Lord and carries out greater acts of obedience and worship. With the passage of years, man tends to develop a stronger faith and love for Allah The Exalted, His Messenger and His pious slaves. However, this is not the case with everyone, for human beings often experience periods of spiritual slackness and a sense of laziness, despite their keenness to maintain their high level of faith, obedience and worship.
In fact, this is not a new phenomenon as the Companions themselves, may Allah be pleased with them, and many of the scholars and Shaykhs (learned men) experienced the same state of spiritual slackness and languor. The Prophet said: “Verily, to every matter there is a spark and a primary surge followed by a state of slackness as this spark fades; anyone who remains within the boundaries of my Sunnah (tradition), even in times of slackness, will be guided.”
This Hadeeth (narration) demonstrates that sometimes one performs acts of worship with diligence and vigor and at other times, he may be overcome by lassitude. Taking the first steps on the path of religious commitment is always accompanied with strong determination, tenacity and resolution to carry out acts of worship and obedience. However, with the passage of time, according to the Prophet one may experience a state of spiritual slackness and lethargy. This is a natural and common phenomenon. What one should fear in this regard is that this state of spiritual slackness would drive a person to go astray, abandon the truth, and be persistent in falsehood -- may Allah safeguard us.
The state of spiritual slackness, that is no more serious than a natural and common phenomenon as stated previously, has symptoms such as feeling deprived of the sweetness of obedience, or becoming rather lazy in performing prayers, but performing them despite this. This is not an unexpected phenomenon, as long as this state of spiritual slackness does not drive one to forsake the Sunnah, abstain from carrying out the obligations, or fall into the abyss of sin, may Allah forbid! Despite being a natural and expected phenomenon, if this state of spiritual slackness is prolonged, it would incur evil repercussions. Therefore, I advise you to supplicate Allah The Exalted, implore Him more, recite more Thikr and invoke the blessings and peace of Allah The Exalted upon the Prophet . Moreover, you should seek the forgiveness of Allah The Exalted, attend religious lessons, and read Islamic books, to the best of your ability. Indeed, Allah The Exalted will not turn you down or forsake you, Allah willing, as long as you supplicate Him. He commanded us to implore Him and promised to answer our supplications. Verily, Allah The Exalted does not break His promises, as stated in the Noble Quran.
I wish you success and guidance. You should look ahead and do not preoccupy yourself with thinking about this matter a lot, Allah The Exalted will guide you out of this dilemma with His power and will.
May Allah grant us success.