We all know that women are protected jewels and are distinguished from men by their softness and gentleness. Islam elevated the status of women and made them equal to men with regard to many rights and duties. The Prophet said: “Women are peers to men.” However, unfortunately many women do not consider their feminity an asset due to their overriding desires and fancies, and take pleasure in displaying a masculine identity. It is as if they want to say, “Come on! Look at me! I am a tomboy!"
Who are boyish girls or "tomboys" and what prompts them to act in this manner?
Boyish girls or what we call “tomboys” are those girls who imitate men in the way they dress, walk, speak or the way they have their hair cut. This phenomenon has started to spread even in Islamic societies in a marked manner, which compels us to take measures to deal with it.
This phenomenon certainly has causes and can be treated. Most of those girls who violate the innate disposition that Allah The Almighty has created them with and who abandon their femininity, undoubtedly suffer from psychological problems and feel inferior and should be treated in the correct way.
First, we shall start by stating the ruling of Sharee‘ah (Islamic legislation) on this eccentric behavior.
There are Hadeeths (narrations) that tell us about the punishment for boyish girls, such as:
• Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “The Messenger of Allah cursed the man who dresses like a woman and the woman who dresses like a man.”
• ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that he heard the Messenger of Allah saying: “Men who imitate women and women who imitate men do not belong to us.”
• Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet cursed the effeminate men and the women who assume a masculine attitude, and he said: ‘Turn them out of your houses.’ The Prophet turned out such-and-such man, and ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, turned out such-and-such man.”
• ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet said: “Three (types of people) will not enter Paradise and Allah will not look at them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the Dayyooth (a man who approves of indecency among his womenfolk).”
• Ibn Abu Mulaykah said, “‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked about the woman who wears the sandals of men, she replied, ‘The Messenger of Allah cursed women who assume a masculine attitude.’”
The abovementioned Hadeeths clearly indicate that it is prohibited for men to imitate women and it is also prohibited for women to imitate men. This includes the way of dressing and everything else, except the first Hadeeth, which refers to the way of dressing alone.
These Hadeeths indicate that any woman who imitates men, either in the way she dresses, walks or speaks is cursed. Being cursed means being expelled from the Mercy of Allah The Almighty and all people will enter Paradise by virtue of the Mercy of Allah The Almighty, not because of their deeds and acts of worship, even the Prophet will enter Paradise by the Mercy of Allah The Almighty. Are the "tomboys" of our times in no need of the Mercy of Allah The Almighty?
Imaam Ath-Thahabi said,
Imitating men in the way they dress, walk and the like is one of the grave major sins and the woman who does so is expelled from the mercy of Allah The Almighty and is cursed by the Messenger of Allah . Allah The Almighty will not look at such a woman on the Day of Judgment and she will not enter Paradise. Indeed, this is a grave sin and an awful crime that can only be forgiven by sincere repentance.
Causes and treatment of the phenomenon of boyish girls:
• Lack of faith and fear of Allah The Almighty: This is because committing sins -- whether major or minor -- is a result of lack of faith and not feeling that Allah The Almighty Is watching His slaves. The Prophet said: “The fornicator is not a perfect believer when he commits fornication, and the one who drinks alcohol is not a perfect believer when he drinks, and the thief is not a perfect believer when he commits theft and the one who plunders a valuable thing that attracts the attention of people is not a perfect believer when he commits this plunder.” There is no doubt that the woman who imitates men lacks faith and is tempted by the devil to commit this grave major sin that is prohibited by virtue of more than one authentic Hadeeth.
• Bad upbringing and family negligence: Undoubtedly, people are affected by the surrounding environment and the girl that is brought up in a home whose members do not adhere to the teachings of Islam will not be given a righteous upbringing and will be liable to deviation. It will be easy for her to commit evil deeds, imitate men and so on. Imitating men is one of the forms of deviation as it violates the woman’s innate disposition. Such girls do not have strong faith or a sound upbringing that would prevent them, or a righteous guardian who would deter them and guide them to the right path. Since an early age, girls should be brought up to obey Allah The Almighty, follow the sound creed and adhere to the manners of Sharee‘ah in order to have strong faith and virtuous morals. The Prophet said: “The one who is responsible for any of these girls and does good to them will be screened from Hell because of them.” Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet said: “The one who has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters and accompanies them with kindness and fears Allah regarding them will enter Paradise.”
A noteworthy point is that the girl who lives in a family that has many boys usually behaves in a boyish manner unless the mother pays attention to this matter. If the mother was negligent with her daughter and treated her the same way the she treats her sons without making her feel that she is a girl and without teaching her that she should behave in a different way from her brothers, the girl would behave and act in a boyish manner and would lose bashfulness and gentleness in dealing with people. This is not the fault of the girl but it is definitely the parents’ fault.