The Ummah (Muslim nation) can only be upheld by its sons and daughters and by its future generations who are prepared to spread Islam all over the world and to vanquish the oppression that is being inflicted on the Ummah by the denominations of disbelief and tyranny.
A sound, strong generation is the true legacy that people should leave after their death. Building generations is the mission that deserves more encouragement and interest than building palaces and houses.
Raising generations is not the responsibility of the family alone, since there are other elements that contribute to it. As such, we are going to deal with the role of Muslim women in bringing up righteous generations.
Every Muslim mother whose faith is firmly established in the innermost recesses of her heart and who loves Allah The Almighty and His noble Messenger deeply, dreams of seeing her son grow up into a righteous young man who is aware of Allah The Almighty in everything he does, and who is safe from treading the mazes of temptation. Every Muslim mother wishes for her son to be a hero who would restore the glory of the Muslim Ummah, a scholar of religion, or a scientist who invents things that make life easier for others, with the sole aim of trying to please Allah The Almighty and attaining felicity in the Hereafter.
It is the wish of every Muslim woman to see her son adhere to the teachings of Islam, comply with the divine commandments in all his affairs, and aspire for great rewards from Allah The Almighty. Every Muslim mother wishes for her son to live by Islam and for Islam.
However, this remains a mere dream for mothers who think of motherhood as nothing but procreation. Such mothers settle for a role that is similar to that of an incubator. Likewise, this remains but a wish of mothers who are only concerned with filling their children’s stomachs with food, settling for a role that is identical with that of a provider. As for those mothers who spoil their children by satisfying all of their demands, whether good or bad, they will be the first to get burned with the fire of their children’s desires that will consume their money, values, and conscientiousness. Their attitude will raise children who will most likely squander their wealth, mock ethics, values, and noble manners; and sever what Allah The Almighty commanded to be maintained. Those mothers will have to suffer from the ingratitude and harm of their children as the first punishment for not raising them according to the Islamic methodology. Mothers who spoil their children are the first to suffer the bitter fruit of what they did; the sharpest of which is the undutifulness of their children.
The question is: What values should a mother impart to her children?
First: Sincerity to Allah Alone
First and foremost, mothers must be sincere to Allah alone. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give Zakah [obligatory charity]. And that is the correct religion.} [Quran 98:5]
Mothers should seek reward from Allah The Almighty for the efforts they exert in raising their children. Mothers stay up for hours late at night and take the trouble of continuously guiding their children, monitoring their studies, or doing household chores.
O mothers, seek reward from Allah Alone for all that and be certain that you will be rewarded for the slightest effort you exert. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if there is [even] the weight of a mustard seed, We will bring it forth. And sufficient are We as Accountant.} [Quran 21:47]
Do not listen to Satan whispering to you that it is time you should take some rest. Those who aspire for eternal bliss in Paradise should not seek to have temporary rest in this life.
Muslim women have a mission to undertake and they will be rewarded if they do it well. The Messenger of Allah praised women who have two characteristics, saying: “The best women who rode camels (i.e. who ever lived) are the women of Quraysh: they are the most tender to young children and the most protective of their husbands' finances.”
Second: Knowledge
After learning the individual obligations that are related to acts of worship, worldly dealings and knowledge of the lawful and unlawful, a Muslim woman should learn the principles of upbringing of children and add to their information regularly.
Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And say, “My Lord, increase me in knowledge.”} [Quran 20:114]
Islam encourages us to seek knowledge, so why do we blame the deficiencies in our thinking and education on Islam, letting others assume wrongly that Islam hinders women from learning and fosters women’s ignorance? Actually, the annals of Islamic history are rich in information about women scholars of Tafseer (Quranic exegesis) and Hadeeth, poetesses, and women of letters. However, Muslim women should seek knowledge according to the guidance of Islam, without intermixing with men or indulging in immodest behavior under the pretext of seeking knowledge. Also, they should seek useful knowledge that leads them to please Allah The Almighty and helps them to attain Paradise.
Sound knowledge saves people from being degraded into blindly following trends that might dazzle women who do not know the true path, and consequently are dragged into a moral abyss in the name of "modernization" and "civilization".
The knowledge of Fiqh (jurisprudence) and methods of Da‘wah (propagation), that is necessary for women is encouraged by the Quran and the Sunnah. Everything that women need to learn about various aspects of their life is attainable not only at home and at schools, but also through other lawful channels such as mosques, from neighbors, and through meeting with people. The Prophet was reported to have said: “What is the matter with people who do not make their neighbors understand (their religion), nor educate them, nor advise them, nor explain to them? Why do some people not learn from their neighbors, nor understand (their religion), nor be advised? By Allah, these people shall educate their neighbors, make them understand (their religion), advise them, enjoin them [to do good] and forbid them [from doing evil]; and those neighbors shall learn from their neighbors and be advised, or I will hasten punishment on them.”
Let us learn as much knowledge as we can and spend some time with our books, and we will be rewarded, Allah willing.
Third: Feeling responsible
Women must feel that they are responsible for raising their children. They should not be oblivious or careless about guiding them. They must not let laziness, procrastination, or a feeling of irresponsibility make them less keen on guiding their children.
Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.} [Quran 66:6]
Therefore, we must avoid everything that may lead us to Hell and we must protect our families from that as well. The Final Reckoning will be difficult and a great terror will be felt on the Day of Resurrection, and the Hell fire will keep asking for more dwellers. We have to act according to this saying by ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, “Question yourselves before you are questioned, weigh your deeds before they are measured for you, and prepare yourselves for the great exhibition for judgment.”
Women will not be saved for merely having cooked for their children and washed their clothes. They must raise their children properly, and bring them up to have a sound Islamic creed, perform upright acts of worship, and have righteous manners. They must teach their children useful knowledge.
Mothers should ask themselves how much time they allocate for monitoring their children; how much care, love, and guidance they give to their children. It should be noted that children will not benefit from their mothers’ advice unless their mothers are good examples for them to follow.
As such, mothers should practice what they advise their children to do. Why do some mothers ask their children to say good words while the children hear nothing but insults and abusive words from them? Why do some mothers ask their children to respect time while they waste their time shopping and gossiping over the phone or during visits?
Dear Muslim sister, your child is a trust in your hand, so you must care for him/her and assume the responsibility of the trust about which you will be questioned. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.} [Quran 66:6]
When should you start guiding your little children? When a child senses that a certain behavior is bad, avoids it, fears to commit it or be seen committing it, this implies that he/she is ready to be disciplined and guided properly. Therefore, they must not be neglected and left uncared for. Neither should they be given unexaggerated guidance; otherwise, the guidance will lose its value. Mothers who bring up their children should be conscious of Allah The Almighty in every act they commit or word they utter. They should be careful not to treat their children unwisely and without giving them good instruction. Also, they should consider the stage of development the children are going through. As such, they should not deal with them during adolescence as they deal with them during childhood so as not to let improper upbringing lead their children astray into superficiality or extremism. This happens when mothers fail to bring up their children righteously according to the teachings of Islam. Therefore, we stress that women should increase their awareness and knowledge about how to raise their children to know why, when, and how to guide their children properly.
Fourth: Understanding between parents
If a parent makes a mistake, the other parent should overlook it. If one of them finds it necessary to advise the other, he/she should do that with all love and respect and without letting the children realize. Parents should cooperate in righteousness and avoid disputes and quarreling -- especially in front of the children -- in order not to make them worry and consequently cause them not to respond favorably to their parents’ advice.
Fifth: Diffusing the spirit of righteousness at home
Children who grow up in families whose members are committed to Islam will imbibe the spiritual atmosphere of the family and the pure conduct of its members.
If the grounds of religious and moral tendencies of children are established during childhood, in most cases, they will be strong during adolescence and maturity. If the family fails to raise the children righteously, the children will seek philosophies that satisfy their emotions and gratify their desires, nothing more.
It is necessary to implant religious consciousness in children and help them to properly choose their friends. To that end, they must be provided with a suitable atmosphere for choosing righteous friends from among their neighbors and schoolmates. They should also be discouraged from keeping bad company and prevented from associating with immoral peers.
Sixth: Invoking guidance, not harm for the children
It is narrated on the authority of Jaabir, may Allah be pleased with him, that he quoted the Messenger of Allah as saying: “Do not supplicate against yourselves, your children, your servants, or your property, lest you should supplicate at a time when supplications are answered.”
Finally, parents should attach their children’s hearts to Allah The Almighty so that the children would seek to please Him and attain His reward. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {So, whoever does righteous deeds while he is a believer -- no denial will there be for his effort, and indeed We, of it, are recorders.} [Quran 21:94] Mothers can establish this attachment by being role models for their children, saying responsible words; applying wise monitoring, offering fair guidance, and preparing an environment that helps them to act righteously.
When children grow into youths who believe in Allah The Almighty they will be conscious of Him; hence, they will turn to Allah The Almighty in repentance if they commit any act that might displease Him. They will follow a righteous course of living and will abstain from committing misdeeds. This will help them purify their souls and be elevated to the status of guided people by means of adhering to a solid creed, submissive worship of Allah The Almighty, as well as enjoying a stable mentality, open mindedness, and strong bodies.
In this way, children will live by Islam and for Islam, and they will consider easy what is difficult, and find sweet what is bitter. They will also be released from elements that drag them to the mundane world and will aspire for the reward that Allah The Almighty has prepared for His servants who are steadfast on his Sharee‘ah. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Indeed, those who have said, “Our Lord is Allah” and then remained on a right course -- the angels will descend upon them, [saying], “Do not fear and do not grieve but receive good tidings of Paradise, which you were promised.} [Quran 41:30]
A fellow Muslim had a daughter who was quiet, polite, and modest. After she moved to a preparatory school, she changed drastically. Her father noticed that she had dyed a lock of her hair green. Astonished at what she had done, her father asked mother her why she did that, and she retorted that her teacher dyed her own hair like that to match the color of her dress.
The crisis is that our enemies recognize the importance of education, so they hasten to apply it, but on secular grounds. They also recognize the influence that teachers can have on students, so they corrupt them. By doing so, they have corrupted generations of Muslims since the beginning of this century. Unfortunately, secularists and atheists have preceded those who hold the sound creed in educating women. Consequently, secular and atheist women have had the chance to cause mischief on earth and spread corruption, since they have had the chance to educate Muslim children. They have been raising children to follow misleading principles. The feminist societies that they formed have played a key role in distracting young Muslim women from the way of guidance and righteousness.
There must be a positive Islamic alternative to fortify young Muslim women with righteous upbringing, so that we would not merely be criticizing the younger generations and blaming them for failing to follow the true teachings of Islam. To that end, we have to provide our daughters with useful knowledge, and adopt the methods of earnest Da‘wah (Islamic propagation) among Muslim women. Also, schools that comply with the standards of Sharee‘ah should be established and regular sessions of knowledge should be held in mosques and in homes.