First Allegation: The Hadeeth (narration) of the Persian man

Some advocates of intermixing between the two sexes hold this Hadeeth as a pretext to allow intermixing between the sexes. It was narrated on the authority of Anas ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with him, that a Persian neighbor of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was known for making tasty meat soup. He made soup especially for the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and invited him over for lunch. The Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked him if his wife ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, could come with him, but he refused. Consequently, the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, declined his invitation. The Persian neighbor invited the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, again and the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked him if his wife ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, could come with him that time, but he refused, and the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, declined the invitation again. The third time, this Persian neighbor invited the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his wife, and he accepted his invitation and went with ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, to his house.

Advocates of intermixing between the sexes say that this Hadeeth indicates the permissibility of a Muslim accompanying his wife to banquets held by his [male] neighbor or friend.

Refutation:

• This Hadeeth does not prove anything except that ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, accompanied the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to the house of the Persian neighbor. Moreover, there are many Hadeeths showing that the wives of the Companions used to accompany them to mosques. Numerous other Hadeeths indicate that many of the Companions visited the wives of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in general, and ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, in particular, to ask her about the Hadeeths of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and about some of his affairs or to obtain her opinion on religious matters.

What is the contradiction between the implication of this Hadeeth and the Islamic ruling stating that the Muslim woman must wear Hijab (Islamic covering) before non-Mahrams (marriageable men) and that men must ask them what they want from behind a partition?

• The fact that the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not accept the invitation unless ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, went with him, is true and doubtless. In fact, there is no shame in such a thing. Rather, it highlights the noble morals and great kindness of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in treating his wives, as well as his deep love and compassion for them. Many days would pass in the house of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, without having any food to cook; and their main food used to be dates and water.

Should a loving husband like the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, leave his wife -- who would be satisfied with eating only bread as was their customary diet -- and go to a great banquet at his Persian neighbor’s? Obviously, the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who was the epitome of exemplary manners, would not do such a thing.

As for holding this Hadeeth as proof that ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, went with the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, while not adhering to Hijab or sat with her face uncovered before the Persian neighbor and his family like what happens nowadays, is absolutely groundless. In fact, interpreting this Hadeeth in this manner is quite far-fetched.
Second Allegation: The Hadeeth of the wife of Abu Usayd As-Saa‘idi

It was narrated on the authority of Sahl ibn Sa‘d, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said, “When Abu Usayd As-Saa‘idi got married, he invited the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his Companions. His wife made them food and served it herself. She soaked some dates in water all night in a stone vessel. On finishing his food, she served the dates that she had made especially for the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.”

Advocates of intermixing between the sexes argue that, based on this Hadeeth, the husband can let his wife welcome his guests and serve them food and that is not forbidden in Islam.

Refutation:

• Muslim jurists and scholars unanimously agree that there is no harm if the Muslim woman welcomes the [male]guests and serves them food as long as her husband is present and she is fully adhering to Hijab and this is clearly what happened at Abu Usayd As-Saa‘idi’s wedding.

Ibn Hajar said, “This Hadeeth proves that it is permissible for the wife to serve food for her husband’s [male] guests. However, it is quite obvious that this can only be done if temptation is avoided and as long as she is adhering to Hijab.”

In a wedding which the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was attending himself, the least they could do was for the wife to serve the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, the food herself and warmly welcome him to her house. Actually, there is nothing disgraceful in this and there is no question of impropriety or tracing a flaw in the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, because of this.

In fact, what would be really disgraceful would be to prove that Abu Usayd As-Saa‘idi’s wife had welcomed the guests with her face uncovered and had exposed her beauty and adornment before them; which cannot be found in the Hadeeth and is utterly groundless.

• It is narrated that many of the Companion’s wives accompanied their men to the battlegrounds to treat the wounded soldiers and provide them with water. Umm Sulaym, may Allah be pleased with her, was one of those women. Who would rely on this as proof of allowing women to intermix with men as they wish, exposing their beauty before them?

Someone might say that since Abu Usayd As-Saa‘idi’s wife served food and drink to the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, herself at her wedding, it is permissible for Muslim women to expose their beauty before men. However, this is the equivalent of a person saying that since Allah The Exalted has rendered trade permissible to earn one’s living, so cheating and doing injustice [in trade] are also permissible.