What does say about spiritually abuse in marriage? My husband always uses the hadith about hoor cursing wife. It really hurts me

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The Islamic Sharee‘ah enjoins the husband to treat his wife kindly. Allah, The Almighty, Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:19] As-Sa‘di said: “A husband must be kind to his wife; he must keep good company with her, avoid harming her, be generous to her, and treat her well.” [End of quote]

Accordingly, the sayings or actions that may provoke one’s wife or harm her feelings contradict the divine command included in this verse. Moreover, they contradict the guidance of the Prophet who used to treat his wives with gracious kindness. Therefore, it is incumbent on this husband to refrain from mistreating his wife.

If what he says and does are intended as advice and a reminder, he should keenly choose the appropriate time and the best manner.

We would like to point out that the spouses are enjoined to appreciate and respect one another and to do all that fosters the stability of their family and blocks Satan’s gates so that he would not disturb the serenity of their married life, corrupt their hearts, and fuel hatred between them. Jabir narrated that the Prophet said: “Satan places his throne on the water, then he sends his troops to people; the closest devil in position to him is the one who causes the most mischief and trials amongst people. One of them (i.e., from his troops) comes to him and says: ‘I continued to whisper to so and so until he committed such and such a sin.’ Satan responds: ‘I swear by Allah! You have not done much.’ (This process continues) until one (devil) comes and says: ‘I continued to whisper to him until I made him separate from his wife.’ Thereupon, Satan brings him close to him and hugs him, saying: ‘Yes! You are the one.’” [Muslim]

Allah knows best.