Me and my wife had a little argument in Jan 2006 and she decided to stay at her sister's house with our daughter. 3months after staying there she decided to go to the court and file a seperation. Now it is almost 2years she is living seperately and my daughter is with me but I want to reconcile and have tried my level best to bring her back but unfortunately every time I try she becomes more difficult. I have my mother now helping me to raise my child and unfortunately my daugter is now so attached to me and my mother that she does not even like to talk about her mother and like to go to her but my wife thinks I brain wash my child against her. In this last 2 years me and my wife had attended some marriage counsellors and for a while I have noticed some changes and we had spent 3-4 nights together during this seperation period. I am not counsellor but I believe this is happening because my wife does not pray or does have any fear of Allah, last month she called police on me as well when my daughter was crying and reluctant to see her. I need some advise what should I do to convince her to bring her back. Now she is demanding me to send my mother back home so she will come back for the sake of our daughter but she will not have any physical relationship with me and also want me to give her in writing that my parents will never come back to visit me or stay with us. I understand it must have been so easy for both of us to leave each other peacefull but since we have a daughter I do no feel like divorcing her but I am tired of her different conditions at different stages. I tried to convince her to follow the Islamic path but she do not understand, Please advise me what should I do. I some time get too worried about my child. Thank you, Ammad

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that reconciliation is better, and you should resort to it if this woman becomes righteous and steadfast on performing the prayer at its prescribed fixed time. Your wife has the right in a separate accommodation but she is not permitted to condition on you to send back your mother to your country of origin, or to condition on you without any valid reason that your mother would not visit you in your home, unless she fears to be harmed by her or the like.

However, if this woman continues to abandon the prayer and does not listen to your advice, then there is no good in keeping her. It is more appropriate in this case to divorce her.

She has no right religiously in the fostering of your daughter since she is dissolute. However, she has the right to visit her daughter, and no one has the right to prevent her. Nonetheless, if you fear any harm on your daughter, then do not leave her mother in seclusion with her [when she visits her].

This daughter should know that she is obliged to be kind and dutiful to her mother.