my husband refuses to sleep with me unless he wears a condom, and if i say no he says he can understand why men choose to have more than one wife and if he ends up being unfaithful i will only have myself to blame. is this right?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

A husband is not permitted to use a condom except with the permission of his wife because him using it may prevent the wife from full enjoyment. This may also prevent her from bearing children and the wife has the right to both things. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 100635.

Therefore, we advise you to discuss the matter with your husband in a soft and gentle manner, and if he persists on using the condom without your consent, then you may ask him to divorce you for failing to fulfil your rights. However, since you are still his wife, you are not permitted to refuse submitting to him when he calls you to bed for sexual intercourse even though he insists on using the condom. Refusing his request only creates another problem.

Therefore, you may be the one to be blamed if refusing to have sexual intercourse with him leads him to committing adultery. However, this is not a sound excuse for him in any case to commit adultery.

It should be noted that marital life should be based on mutual understanding and each spouse should fulfil the rights of the other. It is in this way that marital life becomes stable and each spouse will be happy with the other.

For more benefit on the rights of spouses towards each other, please refer to Fataawa 85308 and 83157.   

Allaah Knows best.