hello im a muslim of uk but have been married to a pakistani since 18 years who has all his life has given made me a mental paticent because of his bad attitude.he has made my kids against me and my mother wants me to leave him and return to uk. my kids are also starting to irritate me just like he did. i have become very sensitive and ill. what dicission should i take all my family is against me.nor do my inlaws care what should i do.ifear that imight become a apatient all my life?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Allaah ordered each spouse to have good marital relationship with the other so that the Muslim family will be stable and affection will prevail between its members.

Therefore, if your husband mistreats you, then this is contradictory to having good marital relationship between the spouses, and if what you mentioned about your husband is true that he is provoking and inciting your children against you, then the matter is more serious and the sin is greater, because in this way he urges your children to cut ties with you.

In any case, we advise you to be patient and fear Allaah, as this is a way of getting out of difficulties and sorrows. We also advise you to earnestly supplicate Allaah to rectify your husband and your children.

On the other hand, you should investigate the reasons of problems and you should endeavour to solve them because it might be that you are negligent in observing his rights but you do not know.

Furthermore, we advise you to seek the help of whomever you trust in your husband’s family so that they would help you to solve these problems. If the problem is solved, then all praise be to Allaah, but if the matter continues as it is, and you are no longer able to live with him, then you may ask for divorce. If he refuses to grant you divorce, then you may ask for Khul’ even in return for a compensation which you would pay to him. You may as well take the matter to an Islamic court if necessary.

Finally, it should be noted that you should be keen on mutual understanding with your children and endeavour to gain their affection. In most cases the children are more affectionate towards their mother.

Allaah Knows best.