Assalamoualikum I just get married, me and my husband want to take our full time in order that i get deflowered. But my family and his family urges us to complete this quickly , they ask us everyday whether its already done. Please advice us , can we lie to them , telling them its already done, because its a personel matter that we want to share only between us

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is not permissible to mention the details of what happens during intercourse between spouses, and it is not permissible for anyone to ask them about this matter. The matter of deflowering is included in this. It is confirmed that the Prophet likened spreading such a secret to an awful thing as he said: "A person who does this (spreads such a secret) is like a male devil who met a female devil in the street and had sexual intercourse with her."

Therefore, you should advise your family and his and clarify to them that it is not permissible to ask about such matters.

As regards delaying the matter of deflowering, this is permissible but you should not delay it without a necessity as this may lead to missing many objectives of marriage, by delaying having children and preventing from full enjoyment and so forth.

Allaah Knows best.