I have been married 7 years, I Live in US, My wife from middle east, both from same culture.She has left several times and is always depressed and unhappy because we are not rich and her friends are. I have been working hard and give her as much as I can, but sometimes money is very tight.She believes she can be more successful on her own and refuses to help me here.We both love each other very much.We dont have children.She has left me again going to live on her own in another state with help from rich friend,she has been gone for 6 weeks, has lied to me and done things that anger me like getting a job as a waitress, I know she is young 25 and i am 41 but i have tried everything from being mean to nice to trying to guide her to the deen. She calls me every couple of days to tell me how much she loves me and misses me but will not come home and if she ever does i dont know if i can forgive her. She wnts to be independent while being married, does not obey me and has envied the american lifestyle, she thinks she is right because she wasnt happy, but she is only unhappy because our financial situation, she has car, apartment and i give her 200-300 a month in spending money when i have it.im not sure how to get through to her, i feel everything she has done is very dangerous for her and i dont want anything to happen to her. she values her friends more tha her family.and her friends are either single or married and unhappy.her rich friend keeps giving her money to sustain her to keep away from me and tells her she did the right thing by leaving.Now she either stays with her friend in one state or has another girl as roommate in another.She is always calling me and is sick and depressed and i talk to her kindly but she still will not return. she says it is all my fault because i didnt provde her with more so i am to blame for her leaving and she doesnt want to live in the state i live in because it is boring and cold and she wants to have fun because she is still young.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is Islamicly established that it is not permissible for a woman to go out of her husband’s house without his permission; we have already clarified this in Fatwa 99860.

If what you mentioned in the question is confirmed that your wife had left the marital home without your permission, then she is a disobedient wife. Her disobedience necessitates losing her right in spending on her until she comes back. Therefore, you should continue to advise her and remind her of Allaah and clarify to her that this worldly life is temporary and that she will meet her Lord Who will ask her about her deeds. Then if she stops disobeying you and returns to the marital home, all praise be to Allaah, but if she insists on refusing, you should seek the help of the members of her family whom you think would influence her. If they succeed in influencing her, then this is what is required, otherwise it might be better to divorce her because there is no good for you in staying with such a wife; indeed there are many pious and righteous women (to marry).

Finally, it should be noted that the behavior of this woman is the best evidence about the seriousness of residing in a non-Muslim country where much temptations exist and laws that help a wife in her disobedience; so you should be careful.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86405 and 84120.

Allaah Knows best.