salam alikom ,Before marriage my hus was in love for 7 yrs with one girl but then her parents refused,,later on asked for my hand he told me all the story .After one year i had a feeling he was still in contact with her i asked him several times he denied i happened to find her num,n found it on his fon with a different name so i wont know ,we had a big fight n he swore that there was nothing going on it was only islamic message true i saw them ,,but to me i felt betrayed n hurt i even told him i wanted to leave n go to my parrents coz he lied to me all this while,,,its been 2 weeks now n i cant 4give him nor trust him anymore am crying all the time wat should i do ,,n what is his crime?? To him he feels there was nothing wrong wit wat he did that i was making a big fight out of nothing that he loved me n he chose me over her even though he had the chance of geting back to her ,,she is although married now,he told her to stop sending messages for it has caused big problems she said she didnt mean any harm ,,well how can i belive it if he is away at work n he gets messages or even calls n later erases everything before coming home .He told me if i keep thinking like that i will spoil everything between us n i will worry my self n him for nothing.pls.i need advice urgently n jazakom Allahu khayran

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to facilitate your matter, to make a way out to your difficulties and to rectify your husband’s affairs.

It is Islamicly not permissible for a man to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram woman because this is the conduct of the people of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance, and Allaah forbade it as He Says (what means): {…or taking [secret] lovers.}[Quran 5:5]

Therefore, your husband is obliged to cut any relationship with this woman and it is not permissible for him to keep in touch with her even through the Islamic messages that he mentioned, as the devil may make this as a means to commit what is Islamicly forbidden. The fact that she is already married confirms that he should avoid her.

Moreover, he should be very firm with this woman in not sending him messages, and if she insists, he may change his phone number.

However, you should not investigate whether or not your husband is still in relationship with this woman. Nonetheless, since what happened has already taken place, then we advise you to be patient and try to solve the matter with your husband with wisdom while being keen on not causing any dissension because of this matter. We also advise you to care of your husband even more and beautify yourself to him as this increases the affection and love between both of you, and so that he would not be attracted to another woman. 

Allaah Knows best.