He repented but his wife does not want to come home Fatwa No: 120527
- Fatwa Date:20-4-2009
Salamu aleikum
My wife left me since a month and went back to her parents and wanted to divorce me because i was a bad husband. I didn't do my prayers, didn't spent enough time with her. Over the last weeks things have changed. I started praying again and everytime i ask forgiveness to Allah because i know i did wrong towards Him and my wife. My wife is not considering divorce anymore but she does not want to come home, she tells me she needs some time and she wants to live in her own appartment with our daughter. She tells me that she fears i will become this bad husband again but i repented and i'm very remorseful. I'm well aware of the person i was and i can't blame her not trusting me anymore but i'm a changed man. What should she do? Should she come home? What has to be done? Do i need the consent of her father since she lives with her parents now?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you for being blessed by Allaah to repent and return to Him; this is indeed a blessing for which you should be grateful to Allaah. Among the best acts of being grateful to Allaah is to observe the religious obligations and perform good deeds as much as possible, and you should avoid being negligent again. For more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fataawa 87903 and 86527.
As regards the wife, it is not permissible for her to go out of her husband’s home without his permission unless she has a sound reason, like him beating her severely and the like. Therefore, your wife is obliged to return to her marital home and she is not permitted to refuse. The bad condition of the husband or his dissoluteness is not a sound reason for her to refuse going back to her home. However, if the husband returns to dissoluteness again and the wife is harmed by his dissoluteness, then she may ask for divorce because of the harm. Nonetheless, her parents have no right to prevent her from going back to her home and she does not need their permission in this regard.
Moreover, the following matters should be mentioned:
1- Each spouse should treat his/her partner kindly and be wise in solving problems; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304. Among a husband being kind to his wife, is that he should spend time with her to create a friendly atmosphere with her and guide her.
2- Abandoning the prayer is one of the grave major sins; rather, some scholars are of the view that a person who abandons the prayer even out of laziness goes out of the fold of Islam. Therefore, a Muslim should be very careful about this and he should be keen on performing the prayer at its prescribed fixed times. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81555.
Allaah Knows best.