I am an eductaMy husband psychologically tortures me. He says a lot of bad things about my late mother, brother, sisters and father. I have two kids but he questions my nobelity. Thought, I have lived a very chaste life otherwise I could have chosen a partner at my own. I m living abroad where I do not have a single relative to talk to. Staying in and then listening bad is such a deadly torture. He wants me to earn inspite of two very young kids though he has a handsome salary. He mocks at my appearance and structure. Though he did saw me and at that time was so much interested that was herself involved in making this marriage happen too early. He showed me the best behaviour ever before marriage. It becomes very torturing. At times my nerves simply break up. He threatens me of the second marriage and I allow but just want to be returned to my homeland where I can get mentally engaged.But our society and family has no place for a divorce' and that too with two kids. What should I do? Suggest me some dua to soothe me in this life suffering. I would like to tell that he is foul-mouthed as he does the same with his parents and family members. They say that he is a pshyco patient but I have to live with him not for a time-being but till i have soul in my body. I have no feeling for him at all but am bound with chains. I am helpless please tell me something to atleast get place somwhere in heaven though at times I get infurated and do speak in return. But I just hate him.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to make for you a way out of your difficulty, and facilitate your matter and rectify your husband as He is The All-Hearer and He answers the supplication.

As regards the suitable supplication for a person in your case, then it is the supplication of sorrow and anxiety. The Prophet said: “If anyone becomes afflicted with anxiety and sorrow and then says: “O Allaah! I am Your male servant, son of Your male servant, son of Your female servant, my forelock is in Your Hand, Your Command over me is forever executed and Your Decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You, with which You named Yourself, or revealed in Your Book, or which You taught to any of Your Creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with you, that you make the Quran the life of my heart, the light of my breast, an end to my sorrow(s), and a release of my anxiety.” Allaah will release him from all worries, and replace them with happiness, instead." Someone asked: “shall we learn them?” The Prophet said: "Whoever hears this (supplication) should learn it." [Ahmad]

Note: It is permissible to change the male context to the female context: like saying: “I am Your female servant, the daughter or Your …” This is what Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said.

Also, you may say the supplication of a person in distress. The Prophet said: “O Allaah, it is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You.” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86204 and 85277. Also, for more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.

Hence, if what you mentioned about your husband is true, that he is foul-mouthed and that he says bad things about you as well as your dead mother and your siblings, then he is very wrong. The matter is even worse in regard to him using foul language when talking to his parents and his family members as, by doing so, he is being unkind to them and he is cutting ties with them.

Therefore, we first advise you to admonish him in a soft and gentle manner and remind him of Allaah to control his tongue especially in regard to his parents and your dead mother. ‘Aa’ishah narrated that the Prophet said: “Do not curse the dead as they went to what they had done (in their life).” [Al-Bukhari]

Your husband should also be advised to live with you honourably as Allaah ordered this in His Book saying (what means): {…and live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19] He should also be advised either to keep you in kindness or to divorce you in kindness as Allaah ordered in His Book as well.

Then, if his condition becomes better, this is what is required, otherwise it is better to ask him to divorce you even in return for compensation as such a person does not deserve you living with him. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86618 and 88304.

Moreover, your family has no right to oblige you to stay married to your husband in this situation that causes you harm.

Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a husband to oblige his wife to go out to work, and it is the husband who has to spend on his wife and children as we clarified in Fatwa 91310. 

Allaah Knows best.