She is fed up with her non-praying neglectful husband Fatwa No: 147445
- Fatwa Date:18-1-2011
My husband does not recite the Quran or its translation nor does he pray beside jummah prayers. Only the times I force if he’s at home he pray. He also smokes which I hate and he promised me before marriage that he stopped it long time. He also has the pre mature ejaculation problem and never has he satisfied me. He very rarely shows his love. He goes to work early in the morning and gets back home very late in the night even though he’s carrying his own business. Once he comes late he’s with the laptop. He takes off only on Sunday and he sleeps till late in the morning and once he’s up he’s with the laptop. Sometimes he watches haram things too without my knowledge. I forcefully take him out for dinner and he keeps me next to him and he enjoys looking those girls dress half way to attract men. This is hurting me a lot. He even doesn’t care for me as I am 4 months pregnant. He even doesn’t bring a single fruit or anything to make me happy. But how much money I ask him he is providing me Alhamdulillah. He wants me to do everything for him but he doesn’t even help in any way or never bothers to make me happy. We are just finishing the 6th month of our marriage. Since the first week after our marriage he’s the same. Life is so fed up trying to correct him and change my life and live happily with him. But I love him so much from my whole heart. he even have promised me before marriage he did went for night clubs and he had many girlfriends and he he even took alcohols and long time he stopped including smoking. But he keeps watching in you tube those sexy nightclubs. I believe that for the sake of Allah that he has stopped those. Allah knows the best. What am I supposed to do? What is the fatwa u can give?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we advise you to treat your husband according to his apparent condition, and you should not investigate what is beyond that as we are ordered to judge according to what appears to us and it is Allaah alone Who knows what is hidden (in people’s hearts).
Therefore, if your husband is as you mentioned, then he is disobedient to his Lord by watching evil things and by being neglectful about the prayer, as this is a great major sin. On the other hand, he is neglectful of his wife as he is not having good marital relationship with her, and so, he is contravening the statement of Allaah (which means): {…And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19] For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304.
Hence, you should wisely advise him in a soft and gentle manner and frighten him with the Punishment of Allaah and the negative consequences of the evil acts that he does, especially his abandonment of the prayer. So, you may seek the help of some scholars and righteous people whom you think will influence him as he might repent and rectify himself. If this is achieved, praise be to Allaah, otherwise you have the right to ask for divorce due to his dissoluteness.
It might be that asking for divorce is more appropriate as there is no good for you in having marital relationship with someone who cut the relationship between him and his Lord. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88932 and 87572.
With regard to your husband premature ejaculation, please refer to Fatwa 88110, and to Fatwa 127405 about a husband who smokes.
Allaah Knows best.