My problem, in short, is that I have been married since 1993 and I have one daughter, and from the beginning of our marriage, the problems between my husband and I were endless. The marriage lacked tranquility and peace of mind. Consequently, it became impossible for us to live with each other. For about five years now, there has been a separation between us. I live with my parents, and he lives with his. My husband refuses to divorce me even though we cannot even come together under the same roof. What is the ruling on my case? I heard that if there is a separation for three years between the spouses, the marriage becomes annulled or divorce is effected. What about five years of separation?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Allaah The Almighty legislated marriage so that spouses may find tranquility with each other. He made affection and mercy the basis of this relationship. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And of His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21]

Allaah The Almighty orders the spouses to be kind to each other and obligated rights for each one over the other. If the relationship reaches a deadlock, Allaah The Almighty legislates divorce for men if they are unable to continue their life without severe hardship. Allaah The Almighty also legislates Khul' (divorce initiated by the wife) for women when it is harmful for her to continue her marital life. Separation without divorce or Khul' is not considered a valid separation under Sharee‘ah (Islamic law) no matter how long the period may be. Hence, you have to ask this man to divorce you, if you feel that you can no longer live with him. If he refuses to divorce you, then, seek Khul’. If he further refuses, then, you should submit your case to the court to settle the matter.We supplicate Allaah The Almighty to choose what is best for you.

Allaah Knows best.