I gave birth to a girl who died when she was one year and two months old. Where do children go after they die? Does she see or hear me when I visit her grave and talk to her? Where will I see her on the Day of Judgment?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Any Muslim child who dies before reaching the age of puberty will enter Paradise. On the authority of Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam , gave glad tidings to the Muslim woman whose two or three children die during her lifetime. He told her that they will be a means of protection for her from Hell. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Al-Qurtubi, the Maaliki scholar mentioned that this Hadeeth is evidence that the Muslims’ children will enter Paradise because it is impossible that they are the means for their parents to obtain the mercy of Allaah The Almighty without themselves being encompassed by the mercy of Allaah. He further mentioned that there is consensus among scholars that the children of the Muslims will enter Paradise and it was only some of the Jabriyyah sect who disagreed with that. However, their opinion has been abandoned and refuted by virtue of the consensus of recognized scholars – something which may not be contradicted.

An-Nawawi, a Shaafi‘i scholar stated that most of the recognized scholars believed that deceased Muslim children would enter Paradise because they are not legally competent to be accountable for their deeds. Some scholars of Tafseer (Quranic exegesis) from the righteous predecessors held that the children of Muslims are those referred to as the companions of the right in the verse (what means): {Every soul, for what it has earned, will be retained.  Except the companions of the right.} [Quran 74:38-39]

Deceased children are like any other dead people concerning hearing or feeling those who visit them at the grave. There is no evidence distinguishing between the old and the young. It is not established under the Sharee‘ah that the dead sees those who visit him. It is impermissible to engage in discussions about what is beyond death without having a relevant Sharee‘ah text, and there is none on this issue.

The children will be gathered with all other human beings on the Day of Judgment. Neither the parents nor the child will pay attention to the other on that Day because everyone will be occupied with his own terror. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {On the Day a man will flee from his brother. And his mother and his father. And his wife and his children, for every man, that Day, will be a matter adequate for him.} [Quran 80:34-37]

There is no doubt that if the parents enter Paradise, they will meet their children and their relatives who successfully enter Paradise. Moreover, if the parents are in a lower rank in Paradise, Allaah The Almighty will elevate their rank as an honor to the child and likewise the child’s rank will be elevated if he is in a lower rank as an honor for them. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained.} [Quran 52:21]

You should be patient and seek reward from Allaah The Almighty. Say, “Innaa lilaah wa innaa ilayhi raaji‘oon, (Indeed we belong to Allaah, and indeed to Him we shall return)," and praise Allaah The Almighty so as to gain the reward and righteous offspring. On the authority of Abu Moosa the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave glad tidings to the one whose child died and he praised Allaah, so that Allaah The Almighty will build a house in Paradise for him which will be named the House of Praise. [Ahmad and At-Tirmithi] On the authority of Umm Salamah the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave glad tidings to the Muslim who is afflicted by a calamity and says what Allaah The Almighty ordered him to say, namely, “Innaa lilaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji‘oon. Allahuma ajurnee fee museebati wa akhluflee khayran minha, (Indeed we belong to Allaah, and indeed to Him we shall return. O Allaah reward me for my affliction and grant me with something better than it)." Then Allaah The Almighty will compensate him with something better than what he lost. [Muslim]

Do not surrender and think about your daughter who has gone to Paradise but be keen on doing righteous deeds so that you follow her into Paradise when it is your turn to pass away.

Allaah Knows best.