I am person who got married recently. I love my wife very much as is the case for my wife as well. Both of us used to talk and reveal about each others past. My wife told me that she had a non-muslim male colleague at her teaching institution whom she treated like her own brother. she requested me to grant her permission to talk with him on phone as she did in her past but i refrained. She was bit disappointed with that. She has not reached to that person after our marriage. But she still says that she carries a lot of brotherly love for that person because he was caring for her. I told her on more than an occassion that I cannot tolerate any person who is not your relation. She is a very good girl who obeys me and loves me a lot. But whenever she mentions about him she adresses him as her's “Ichayan“, an affectionate term, which makes me disturbed though i did not reveal her about that. She also make dua for him regularly. I asked her to stop making duas in which she asked for forgiving past sins. But I gave permission to pray to Allah to bring that person to Islam. But I am afraid that this will continue to put him in her memory. She also carries a doll(Mickey mouse) which was gifted to her by him. Please advice me to take the right decisions and give her the right advice. Jazakka Allahu Khair.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we like to draw your attention to the fact that you are both wrong with the way you behaved which is informing each other about one’s past sins. A Muslim is Islamically required to first repent to Allaah from any act of disobedience and then to conceal his sin. Abu Hurayrah said: “I heard the Prophet saying: “All my nation is pardoned [by Allaah for what they commit] except those who sin openly or disclose their sins to the people. An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin by night and though Allaah screened it from the public, he comes in the morning, and says, “O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday”. Thus, he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allaah's screen from himself.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Moreover, we have already clarified that it is not permissible for a woman to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram man even if this is within the frame of brotherly relationship as some people may claim. This is indeed a great door to evil. So please refer to Fataawa 81356 and 131105 for more benefit in this regard.

Indeed, you did well by preventing your wife from continuing this relationship with that man or contacting him by phone. It seems that her heart is attached to him and there is no doubt that this is one of the reasons of temptation. In addition to this, there is another religious prohibition, which is the heart of a Muslim being attached to a non-Muslim. Besides, it is not permissible for her to supplicate Allaah to forgive him if he is a non-Muslim as Allaah prohibited us in His Book from seeking forgiveness for the non-Muslims; Allaah Says (what means): {It is not for the Prophet [] and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relative, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire.}[Quran 9:113] Also, the Jews used to come to the Prophet and sneeze in front of him with the hope that he would tell them “May Allaah have mercy upon you” but he only used to tell them: “May Allaah guide you (to Islam) and amend your condition.”: as per the Hadeeth narrated by Ahmad and At-Tirmithi. Thus, the Prophet refrained from asking Allaah to have mercy upon them and he only supplicated Allaah to guide them. For more benefit on supplicating for the non-Muslims, please refer to Fataawa 90989 and 90921.

On the other hand, the fact that your wife is still keeping that doll is evidence that her heart is attached to that man. Besides, that doll is among the images that are not permissible; the only exception is what is needed to be used as toys for the children to play with. As for what is used for any other purpose, it comes under the general rule which prohibits images. Hence, your wife is obliged to get rid of that doll.

Therefore, we advise you to keep advising your wife in a soft and gentle manner in the light of what we have mentioned. If she stops what she is doing, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise she is recalcitrant. Indeed, the Sharee’ah clarified how to deal with a recalcitrant wife; please refer to Fatwa 85402 for more benefit.

Allaah Knows best.