asalmalykm, i got marid 3 yrs back. After engagemnt my husbnd used to talk to me & he promisd me so many thngs like he loves me alot he's gona treat my parents as his own he wil keep them at his home he wil take them to haj. If i do get any problm from his family he wil arange a seperate home for me etc. Aftr marig slowly al promises began to break. After 1 yr of marig he became frustrated and our relation turnd into unbarable burden. He tease me taunt me make fun of me and my family infront of others. He thnk husband has superiority over wife. Some time he raised hand also. His family keep on wash his brain againt me and my family. He says he loves me alot & cant live wthout me.he gives food clothes and shelter. Meanwhile he & my parent got clashes due to money he lend to them as debt. He consider them as cheaters. Though he knw vry wel that his own mother & brother cheatd him in the mater of money ,he is ok wth it. Whenever i ask his abt the doublstandard behaviour toward my his family he ans u have to live wth me and my family and neither he nor me need to wory abt my parents. Though he loves me dnt wana leav me but its vry dificult fore me to bare his dominence, rude nature, short temper, misunderstandngs and his hate for my family. Plz giv me solutn in light of hadith.jazakalla.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

If your husband treats you in the manner which you mentioned in the question, harassing you, mocking you, and beating you sometimes, then he is not maintaining a kind marital relationship with you. The husband is Islamically ordered to have a kind marital relationship with his wife as we have already clarified in Fataawa 86618 and 88304. Indeed, we are very astonished that this husband claims to love his wife and says that he cannot live without her while at the same time he treats her with this rough treatment.

Likewise, if he mocks your family, then he is also wrong. It is a part of the kind treatment of a husband to his wife that he treats his in-laws in a good manner due to the affinity that exists between him and them; the Prophet used to do so with his in-laws, and a Muslim has a good example in him.

On the other hand, if your parents owe a loan to your husband, then he should ask for his right kindly, and they have to pay him back kindly. Jaabir ibn 'Abdullaah narrated that the Prophet said: "May Allaah have mercy upon a person who is lenient when he sells, when he buys, when he asks for his right (i.e. when he asks his debtor to give him back his money), and when he pays back his debt (that he owes to someone)." [Ibn Hibbaan]

In any case, we advise you to be patient with him and to give him advice with wisdom and fair admonition while supplicating Allaah to rectify his affairs. If this happens, then praise be to Allaah, but if he continues to mistreat you and it is not possible to achieve the objective of the marriage, then you have the right to ask for divorce if you believe that divorce is better for you. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 107622.

Finally, we would like to draw attention to the following matters:

1- The Sharee’ah clarified that the husband is the protector and maintainer of his wife; Allaah Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.}[Quran 4:34] However, this "charge" is in maintaining his wife, protecting her and running her affairs properly; it is not a permission to be tyrant, unjust and aggressive with his wife. It is for this reason that at the end of the same verse Allaah Says (what means) threatening: {But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.}[Quran 4:34]

2- The wife has the right for an independent and separate residence even if her husband did not promise her with it; and if he did promise her then her right is even more confirmed. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86132.

3- Fulfilling the promise is desirable and not an obligation according to the view of the majority of the scholars. Yet, whenever a husband is able to fulfill the promise that he had made to his wife, he should do so as a means of avoiding the difference of opinion of the scholars who are of the view that fulfilling the promise is an obligation and also as a means to enhance love and affection between the spouses.

Allaah Knows best.