My husband had divorced me before, when I was ALONE no WHITNESES. but said may full name and said I devorced u with all THREE. and I know the words and understand them. when the morning came, I called my family to take me away, I was taken by my family. he was asked to leave too because the house belongs to my family.but he was told, if you can proof that she is youre wife then then u can have her back. he came with a sheikh and met with my family we also had a sheikh. but my husband denied everything. since he denied and denied and denied the sheikhs had to force me to go back home. I was forced to be his wife, when I know he divorced me. and once I told I don't want him, he said : IF YOU LEAVE ME I WILL KILL YOU. NO OTHER MAN IS GOING TO ENJOY U AFTER ME. I stayed and had kids. I worked for the family instead of staying at home and be a mother. he did not provide for the family. it's been 20 years he acqiused me of cheeting on him. I never did that, for allah is my witness. now I started to think that this man is what we call intihazi or aportunistic. .because, he denied the divorce because he did not have a place to stay.the second time.he threatened to kill me. because I worked for the family. and I remember once I had enough I told him I will give him money to divorce me. he thout about it and came to me asking for that money. he said he will divorce me I got mad and told him: I WILL TAKE YOU TO JAIL IF I EVER HEAR THAT FROM YOU AGAIN. now I came to the pointe that I DON'T WANT THIS MAN. please answer my 2 quastions 1 am I even married to this man? and 2 how do I get a d i vorce from him? jazaakumulaah kheiran

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Issues that involve mutual denial and litigation can only be concluded and settled by a legitimate judge or by those who may act on his behalf. What we can tell you now is that the one who separates from his wife through divorcing her three times, and she is sure of it, then it is illegal for her to let him enjoy her sexually and she must stop him from that as much as she can.

However, regarding the pronunciation of divorce three times at once (as in the questioner’s case), there is disagreement about it. The question is whether it is an irrevocably divorce with major separation, according to the majority of scholars, or rather is it a revocable divorce. The latter is the opinion of some well-versed jurists and has been issued by many Fatwa authorities. Hence, we sincerely suggest referring this issue to one who can settle the dispute in the country of its occurrence, considering that the Islamic centers can take the place of legitimate judgment in a country that has no judge. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 82330, 155573 and 82541.

In conclusion, we draw attention to these two points:

First, the husband's threatening to kill his wife or accusing her of infidelity without any evidence is considered evil treatment of the wife, as well as weakness in religion and bad moral character.

Second, spending on the wife and children is the husband’s duty. If the husband is stingy and the wife finds his wealth, she may take what she needs of it, even without his knowledge. If she cannot find his wealth, then she may raise the matter to an Islamic judge or whoever may act on his behalf in order to require the husband to pay. If he still does not pay, the judge can separate them if that is her choice. For more benefit, please to Fatwa 123761.

Allaah Knows best.