I was short on my rent this month. I told my wife that we should negotiate with the estate agent, to pay them in 10 days time. Behind my back she borrowed the money from an ex suitor, which has annoyed me a lot and we had a heated argument about it. I told her that she has disgraced and belittled me and I would not accept such behaviour again. She sent me a text message and swore that she would do it a million times if I ever fail to give her the full rent money when due. I am worried that this is starting something really bad, in terms of disrespect, interference and generally how this sort of situation is dealt with in Islam. I would be very grateful for any advice. Thanks for your time and may Allah bless us all.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

In such matters, one should be keen on having mutual understanding and patience, without nervousness. It is more appropriate that each of you finds an excuse for the other. When your wife behaved that way, it is most likely that she did so with a good intention, and when you prohibited her from doing so, it is believed that you were advising her as you judged that she was wrong by going to the person whom you mentioned and borrowing money from him. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85308 and 85167.

However, it is an obligation on your wife to obey you and not do this again as you might be harmed by her doing so. So, you should solve the problem in a gentle manner as we have already mentioned, and remind her that she is obligated to obey you and that disobeying you would make her a Naashiz (a recalcitrant wife).

If delaying the payment of rent is due to you having financial difficulties, then you should remind her of the importance of being patient until Allaah makes a way out for you, as after difficulties, there is easiness, Allaah willing.

Allaah Knows best.