Salam alikum dear shikh I am 36 years old and a mother of four children Mashallah .any way I have been saprated from my husband 7 years ago after having very hard time with him.I am not thinking to go back to him .his remmarge to a new wife and the kids go to see him.he didn't give me divorce and I didn't ask for it becuse I am just focus on my children and don't want to go through the proseger of the court I am not thinking to get married again is it haram to leave like that with out getting the divorce. Jazak allah khairan

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

We believe that Allaah has blessed you with good reason, as you are wise in not engaging with your husband in disputes and not taking the matter to the courts; so may Allaah reward you for this.

We ask Allaah to improve your situation and facilitate the matter for you and give you a way out of your worries and distress; as Allaah is in control of all things.

If you are the one who deserted your husband, then you are not permitted to do so unless you have a justifiable reason, such as him physically abusing you. But if there is no justifiable reason, then continuing to desert him is disobedience to him and to Allaah and negligence of your husband’s right.

On the other hand, if a man marries a second wife, it is permissible provided that he is fair to both wives. In this case, you are obliged to repent from being recalcitrant and return to the house of your husband and give him his rights.

This is in case you are the one who deserted him. But if he deserted you, then there are some conditions for a husband deserting his wife; for example, that his wife is recalcitrant, and he must only desert her in bed. So, if he deserted you in an un-Islamic manner, and he continues to desert you, and you agree to be patient with him in this state while being safe from temptation, then you may continue to stay with him in this state of separation.

However, being safe from temptation in this time and age, especially in the West, may be difficult. Therefore, in our view you should not stay with him in this state. Hence, if he does not keep you in a good manner, then you should seek to divorce him in a good manner, hoping that Allaah will bless you with a better husband.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 131953 and 84026.

Allaah Knows best.