I want to know what to do as I broke my fast for three days in Ramadan, not because a legal excuse, but because of having sexual intercourse with my wife. I did not know that the punishment for this is to fast two consecutive months. Is there another option to expiate for this violation? If the other option is to offer food in charity, is it permissible to give all the food to a nursing home?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.

If the Muslim breaks his fast in Ramadan due to having sexual intercourse with his wife, then he must observe the major expiation stated in the following hadith that was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah who said:

A man came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, “I am doomed, O Messenger of Allah!” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the man, “Why are you doomed?” The man said, “I had intercourse with my wife during the daytime in Ramadan.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked the man, “Are you able to free a slave?” The man said, “No!” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked the man, “Are you able to fast two consecutive months?” The man said, “No!” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked the man, “Are you able to provide food to sixty poor people?” The man said, “No!” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then, asked the man to wait for a while. Meanwhile, a big basket of dates was delivered to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then called the man, gave him the dates and asked him to give them away in charity to the poor. The man said to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, “Shall I give these dates to whoever is poorer than me? I swear that there is no family poorer than mine in Al-Madeenah.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, laughed and said to the man, “Then, go give the dates to your family.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim and this is the wording of Muslim]

According to the narration reported by Ibn Maajah the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the man: "Free a slave." The man said: "I cannot afford it." He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to him, "Fast two consecutive months." The man said, "I cannot." Then the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Feed sixty needy people."

Based on this hadith, the expiation should be observed according to the mentioned order, in the sense that the person should not move to the second action unless he is not able to observe the first.

The questioner is also advised to turn to Allah in repentance and ask Him for forgiveness very often. He should know that he will remain liable to such expiation and that it is impermissible for him to delay it.

Imam Malik, however, maintained that a Muslim does not have to abide by the aforementioned sequence and may choose from among the three offered options.   

A separate expiation should be made for every day one breaks his fast by sexual intercourse. Moreover, the person is not allowed to pay the expiation, if it is feeding, except to needy people of whom he is sure, or almost sure, that they are entitled to receive it. Concerning your question about delivering the food to nursing homes, you should consider that these facilities may host people who are not poor, while those who are not poor are not entitled to receive the respective expiation.

One final issue to clarify is that nothing is due upon the fasting wife if she willingly submits to her husband's request of having sexual intercourse with her in Ramadan, as per the preponderant opinion in this regard.    

Allah Knows best.