Asalamu walaykum wr wb. I have been married for soon 3 years. Our marriage took place sencerly for Allah swt sake, since I didnt speak very long time with my husband befor the marrige took place. Now I have come to the stage where I am sick and tired of my husbands verbacly abuse calling me bad names(names wich makes me want to trow up sometimes). He had been also hit me before and everytime he has hit me, it has been infront of our child wheater I am changing our child(1 1/5 years old) or when he was holding her once. He has a very bad temper, where he can start cursing me very fast. And he has some problames with his personality which I dont like. We have goen to see a sheik and my husband have said he wouldnt do it again. But next time we ague he starts cursing me again calling me bad names. I am soo tired of his anger eventhought I have forgiven him many times and taking him back after what he has doen, praying it will became better. And we have talked with many people like the shayk or his brother or my wali etc but it looks like he changes for a week or two than goes back. Recently we where going trew a khula with the shayk, but he gave us more time to think because I am pregnant again. I was so tired of arguing with my husband that I stayed calm and acted like we were happy again, mostly because I didnt want to stress the baby and me physicly(wich I was because of my husbands argu). But I have come to the point were I can see that he wouldnt change with his temper and verbacly abuse. So we will go back to the shayk to complet the khula. I know my iddah will be till the child is born, but does it mean that I have to stay in the room we are renting(note that we a renting ONE room in a houseshare) during my iddah? What if I know he will still be arguing me and calling me names and he will put me in more depression and stress me and the unborn baby? And can I move during my iddah to another city 2 hours away to start my islamic class which starts after summer?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is reprehensible and unacceptable that a Muslim husband hit, insult and humiliate his wife in such a manner. This certainly runs counter to the religious command for Muslim men to live with their wives in kindness. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {…And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:19] This verse entails that a husband may dislike his wife, but he can still find much good in her. Abu Hurayrah related that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim] For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88304 and 86618.

You have done well by supplicating Allaah to bless your husband with guidance and righteousness and by striving to reconcile your differences; may Allaah reward you for that.

If staying married to him is harmful to you, then you are entitled to demand divorce or Khul’; please refer to Fatwa 131953 about the situations when it is allowed for a wife to ask for divorce. However, it is better to try to fix your relationship with him as much as possible.

If the Khul’ is effectuated and the husband was the one wronging his wife and incurring harm upon her, then he is not entitled to compensation. The Khul’ is considered an irrevocable divorce and the wife is not entitled to an alimony period or accommodation during the ‘Iddah unless she is pregnant, as underlined in Fatwa 123508. In case of Khul’, the man is considered a stranger to his ex-wife and it is impermissible for her to share the same room with him. However, there is no harm in living with him in the same house if it is big enough and each has his separate part of it with separate utilities as underlined in the previously mentioned Fatwa.

The Hanbali jurists stated that in case of an irrevocable divorce, the wife has the right to spend her ‘Iddah in any place she chooses. The Hanbali scholar Al-Buhooti said, “An irrevocably divorced woman can spend her ‘Iddah in any safe place she wishes inside her country and she is not obliged to spend it in the marital home.” Therefore, you may look for another room to stay in (during the ‘Iddah).

On the other hand, it is impermissible for a woman to leave her house without necessity or need during the ‘Iddah, whether in case of divorce or the husband’s death, and she is obliged to spend the night in her house (where she is spending her ‘Iddah). Please refer to Fataawa 129027 and 132939. However, it is impermissible for her to travel during her ‘Iddah.

Allaah Knows best.