I am happily married but somehow I have lost sexual feelings for my husband. For me to enjoy sex with him I have to imagine terrible un Islamic things like having sex with my brother, father etc. If I imagine this I then enjoy sex with him. Please help me because I want o enter jannah but I am failing to fight this away.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

It is impermissible for a woman to imagine having intercourse with another man when she is having intercourse with her husband, as this may lead to her becoming emotionally attached to that man and seeking to commit adultery with him. It is obligatory to eliminate any means that lead to sin.

Maaliki scholar Ibn Al-Hajj states: “It is incumbent on Muslims to shield themselves against indulging in such an ugly habit that has, unfortunately, become widespread, namely that when a man sees a woman to whom he feels attracted and then he has intercourse with his wife while imagining this woman. In fact, this is considered a kind of adultery; scholars stated that if a person holds a glass of water and imagines that he is drinking wine, then it is impermissible for him to drink that water. Alas, this has become widespread nowadays to the extent that a man whom I trust told me that he had consulted a so-called ‘scholar’ and he advised him that such an act is even rewardable because the person seeks to thereby guard his religion! Verily, we belong to Allaah and verily to Him we shall return! What utter ignorance and how heedless people are of it! In fact, this applies to the woman as well and not specifically to men; it is even more emphasized for women because they often go out of their houses nowadays or gaze upon men. If a woman sees a man and likes him and then has intercourse with her husband while imagining this man, then she is considered an adulteress just like a man who does the same. May Allaah keep us from that...” [Al-Madkhal]

Verily, it is graver and more hideous for a person to imagine one of his or her Mahrams; this is even more appalling and unnatural to the Fitrah (sound human disposition) and it may lead to incest. This is a grave evil and a Muslim must beware of it. Indeed, it is better for a Muslim woman to give up some of the fleeting worldly pleasures in order to safeguard her religion and honor.

Moreover, there are permissible treatments for such a condition, one of which is seeking the help of Allaah, asking for His safety from all afflictions and tribulations. Verily, Allaah, The Exalted, answers the supplication of the desperate. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allaah? Little do you remember.} [Quran 27:62]

Abu Bakrah reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “The supplications to be used by one who is distressed are: ‘Allaahumma rahmatka arjoo fala takilni ila nafsee tarfat ‘ayn, wa aslih li sha’ni kullah, la ilaaha illa anta (which means, O Allaah! Thy mercy is what I hope for. Do not abandon me to myself for an instant, but put all my affairs in good order for me. None is worthy of worship but You.’” [Abu Daawood]

We also advise you to recite the Ruqyah (Quranic healing verses) for it is effective in case of physical and mental illnesses. In addition, married couples should put focus on certain things with regard to their intimate relations, such as maintaining personal hygiene, wearing perfume, engaging in foreplay and the like. There is no harm in speaking openly with the husband about these things, and you can also consult a specialized psychiatrist who is trustworthy and skilled. We appeal to Allaah to safeguard us and you from all afflictions.

Allaah Knows best.