assalamualaikum.my husband married a 2nd time 2 years back and when i discovered,he told me that on the very day he got married,he realised he had committed a mistake.but he had sex with his new wife.the next day he phoned his new wife to tell her that he loves me and cannot live with her.then he divorced her twice.he held the holy quran in his hand as witness and took an oath in Allah's name that since the day he married a second time,he had no contact whatsoever with that woman and even told me she was disgusting and ugly and was after her money.one month after during the month of Ramadan,he told me he had sent her a third written talaaq through a relative.I felt he was lying to me but i could not disprove him.but i prayed to allah to show me the truth.on 5 april this year i discovered that everything that my husband had told me about his second marriage was false.he was visiting his second wife during the day and when i went to the second wife's house, she gave me my husband's clothes including his underwear and she told me a lot of things which happened in my family and my relatives' lives,which only my husband and i knew, even our personal issues.she also told me that my husband divorced her the third time only 1 month ago because he did not send her expenses for the month of january,her brother in law went to see him in his office to talk to him in february.he used this as an excuse to give the third talaaq on 11 march 2014.on hearing all this,i began to hate him because i feel he played with our emotions.when i told him about all his lies,he denied at first than admitted.during two years and up to now,i am suffering a lot and so depressed that i need psychiatric help.i dont think i can be happy with him or i can make him happy any more. i even hate to see his face.we are at present living separately and he doesn't want to divorce me either religiously or legally.i am living with my son who is 20.plz advise if i can ask for khul.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

In principle, it is not permissible for a wife to seek divorce unless she has a sound reason. To learn about the sound reasons for seeking divorce, please refer to Fatwa 131953.

If a husband marries a second wife, then this is not by itself a sound reason for his first wife to ask him for divorce. Nonetheless, if you hate your husband and you fear that this will lead you to neglecting his rights, then you may ask him for Khul’ in return for compensation, as the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays both, did with her husband. For more benefit on the rulings on Khul’, please refer to Fatwa 89039.

However, you should not hasten to ask for Khul’ as the benefit is not always in separation.

We would like to point out the following matters:

1. Living in separation does not mean divorce. So, the matter should not be left unresolved; your husband must either divorce you in kindness or keep you in kindness.

2. Marital life matters should not be divulged to third parties; the matter is even more forbidden if it is related to sexual intercourse.

3. A husband has the right to marry up to four wives as Allaah permitted him to do so if he is able to provide for their needs in a just manner and stay overnight equally with them. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81469 and 85948.

Allaah Knows best.