Assalaamu alaykum. I have been married to my husband for four years. Presently, my husband's sister moved into his house in an other building with a nephew that is also living there. The condition we made before the sister moved in was that the nephew should pay the water and electricity. Now, the nephew refuses to pay the full amount, and the sister refuses to contribute anything. She feels that, while she has over 10,000 rand in the bank, she can get rent from her house and disability aid from the government and live here for free. She feels that she is entitled to do this because she lived for a long time with my husband in this house that he inherited from his mother. She is married to a foreigner whom she has not seen for more than two years. She is his first wife. She uses the electricity and water and expects my husband to pay for it. The problem is that my husband refuses to give me any money for myself because of debts that he has to pay. I am the one supporting the household. All of her sisters and some brothers told her that she must live with us. How do we deal with this situation? Is it Islamic for a woman to support herself and the house while her husband has to support his sister. What can I do?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The wife is not obliged to spend on herself or on her husband or his sister and others, and she does not have to pay the household expenses such as water or electricity bills and the like, unless she does that by her own proper will as a voluntary act.

Indeed, it is the husband who is responsible for spending on himself and his wife, and then if he wishes to voluntarily spend on his rich sister, he may do so. However, he is not entitled to be negligent in spending on his family in order to spend on his sister and others, and he should not compel his wife to do so.

In any case, this issue should be discussed in a wise and gentle manner with him in order to convince his sister to bear the costs of water and electricity consumption, unless her brother or anyone else volunteers to pay those costs for her.

It should be mentioned as well that your donation is praised because being generous to the husband and helping him and being kind to his family and his relatives are all part of having a good marital relationship, and represent a good act of kindness that is praised, and its consequences will be goodness, Allaah willing.

With regard to spending, the spouses should deal with each other with tolerance so that their marriage would be stable and far from disputes and dissension.

Allaah Knows best.