I am a newly-married wife. I got married less than a month ago. We have not settled in our own house yet, and I am staying with my sister and her husband, who is my maternal cousin, for now. My husband comes over for some days a week, and he insists on having sexual intercourse with me in my sister’s house, leaving the traces of the intercourse on the bed. Can I abstain from having sexual intercourse with my husband until we settle in our own home?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

The Muslim wife should obey her husband when he calls her to bed unless such an act would bring some sort of harm for her. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: 

If a man calls his wife to bed (i.e. to have sexual intercourse) and she refuses, the angels will curse her until morning. [Al-Bukhari]

Furthermore, the husband has the right to enjoy having sexual intercourse with his wife according to the obligations of the marriage contract. The husband is not obliged to provide for his wife if she refrained from having sexual intercourse with him; since she would be considered Naashiz (arrogant and rebellious) with him. It is obligatory for the Muslim wife to obey her husband when he calls her to bed (i.e. to have sexual intercourse), whether she was in her house or not, as long as he is not requesting to have sexual intercourse with her in the anus or during her menstruation or before people who would look at their ‘Awrahs. As for leaving the traces of semen on the bed, it is recommended to clean such traces according to the due social manners.

Moreover, it was cited in Sunnan Al-Bayhaqi that ‘Aa’ishah said:

The wise woman should have a rag to clean the traces of semen, after having sexual intercourse, from her body and then hand it over to her husband to do the same, thus, they can pray in the same clothes as long as they are not tainted with Janaabah i.e. semen.

However, the husband should respect the due manners and proper conduct when having sexual intercourse with his wife. Moreover, he should respect his wife’s feelings even in claiming his due right. Dear wife, we advise you to treat your husband nicely and kindly, and to obey him when he asks to have sexual intercourse with you while paying great attention not to let your sister’s family see you. Added to that, you should adhere to your due Hijab before your sister’s husband, and you should not stay with him in seclusion or expose your beauty and adornment before anyone else but your own husband.