Assalaamu alaykum. Please, help me, it is urgent. I had a past relationship that did not work out. I got married but did not have any physical relation with my partner due to him not providing basic needs related to the home. He had no job or home. I divorced him, my parents were unaware as I only stayed three months with my partner while telling my parents that I had a new job. In 2012, my parents found a new groom. I did not tell him of my past as I did not consummate that marriage. Later, in my new marriage, my old partner use to contact me; I ignored him at first but afterwards did meet him and he would always bother me; that was my mistake. After all that, I came clean and told my current husband everything. He was angry and quite aggressive when we would argue. Then he told me that he would forgive me and we started a new life and went to 'Umrah in 2014. I supplicated and asked for forgiveness. I was expecting. My husband, although he said that he forgave me, always swore at me and argued that I had to remain quiet. He took my mahr (bridal gift), my salary, my gold, everything, and said that I could not have it. I had a baby in December 2014. After this, he would always argue with me and not treat me nice. He would swear at me and so would his family. I was depressed and left because I wanted some space for three weeks in March 2015. His dad told me, “Go for good, all is finished.” My husband did not contact me. I called several times but he does not want to talk. He hates me. He did not send money for the baby's needs or see her since March 2015. Then in December 2015, he sent me civil divorce papers. Then I met him in his home. He wants a divorce. He did not see or care or pay for our child's needs. His parents told me that he took my gold wedding gift. He took my wedding rings, my mahr, and my savings. He is blaming me for everything and wants a divorce. Islamically, I know that I did a lot of wrong, but I did sook forgiveness, and afterwards we had a baby. Still, they are all treating me badly. I did not want to end the marriage. My health worsened a lot and I have his baby. I was told by my father-in-law to get out. He did not contact me nor meet me. Ten months later, he sent the divorce papers. I need Islamic advice. What can I do in my situation. How do I repent? I have a baby and my in-laws took all rights, so what should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. 

There are some matters that are not clear in the question, among which is that you mentioned that your parents were not aware of the matter. Which matter are you referring to? Does this mean that the marriage contract took place without the consent and permission of your guardian? If this is the case, then you should know that marriage without the permission of the guardian is void according to the view of the majority of the scholars; and this is the view that we consider to be the preponderant one. For more benefit on the conditions of a valid marriage contract, please refer to fatwa 83629.

Moreover, the divorce in a marriage about which there is a difference of opinion regarding its validity is a valid divorce. For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 92478.

Also, we do not know what you mean when you say that you divorced your first husband. Divorce is indeed in the hands of the husband. May be you mean that you asked him for divorce and that he divorced you or that he put the matter of divorce in your hands and so you divorced yourself from him.

As for informing your other husband about your first marriage, then this was not an obligation on you, so you were wrong in two respects:

1- Your illegitimate relationship with your first husband.

2- Informing your second husband about this relationship. This is what has caused you all these problems whereas you had no problems before informing him. In the Islamic sharee'ah, a Muslim is ordered to conceal his sins regarding the prohibitions that he might have committed. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said, “All my nation are forgiven for their sins except those who sin openly or disclose their sins to the people.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Please, refer to fataawa 84052 and 83573.

In any case, it is an obligation to repent from this act; for the conditions of repentance, please refer to fatwa 86527. Your husband should not have punished you for what had happened though you asked for his pardon about it.

Regarding your money, then in principle, people's money is forbidden to each other. It is not permissible to take their money unjustly, as this is a kind of injustice. It is confirmed that Abu Bakrah narrated that the Prophet said, “Indeed your blood and your property are as sacred and inviolable as the sacredness of this day of yours, in this month of yours, in this town of yours…” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Therefore, your husband is wrong and unjust if he took your dowry and your gold and your money that you earned from your job without a legitimate reason. Also, if his family had interfered between you and him and urged him to do so and behave in a corrupt way, then they are extremely wrong. Instead, they should have endeavored to reconcile between you and him.

If your husband had issued divorce, then you have the rights of a divorcee, which we have already clarified in fatwa 86603. He is also obliged to spend on his child because divorce does not exempt him from doing so; please refer to fatwa 88233.

If it is possible for rational people from your family and his family to reconcile between you, then that would be good; otherwise, you should take your case to an Islamic Center in your country so that they would study the issue and remove harm from you and obtain your legitimate rights. If they are unable to do so, then they would probably advise you to take the matter to non-Islamic courts as it is permissible to resort to them when necessary in order to get a right or repel an injustice.

Finally, we should point out to the following matters:

1- It is not permissible for a woman to leave her husband's home without his permission unless there is a legitimate reason, such as going to seek the help of a guardian or a judge. The prominent scholar Ibn Hajar al-Haytami said in Tuhfatul Muhtaaj while determining the cases in which the wife is permitted to go out without her husband's permission, “When the house is about to collapse, or when she fears for herself or her money – as evident – from a dissolute person or a thief ... or needs to go out to a judge to ask him for her right or to learn about it or seek a fatwa if her trustworthy husband did not suffice her of it...”

2- As for the saying of your father-in-law, “Go for good, all is finished,” this does not lead to a divorce or anything because, in principle, divorce is in the hands of the husband. Ibn ‘Abbaas narrated that the Prophet said, “Divorce is indeed in the hands of the husband.” [Ibn Maajah]

Allaah knows best.