Asalamu alaykum wa ramatullaahi wa barakaatuhu. For the past year and a half, I have been performing an evil deed, a deed so evil that I am thankful that Allaah has hidden it from the people, as I am a well-respected community leader. I have been hiring escorts despite being seen and respected by other Muslims. I have a concern. I want to quit doing this, but I am addicted to this sin, how do I obtain the will to quit? I regret that I do not feel remorse for it. How can I feel remorse? Also, am I a hypocrite because people view me as pious even though I see escorts? My other question is, would Allaah forgive me, even if I did this evil deed? I feel that I am not even worthy to call myself a Muslim when I sin. What do I need to do to return to Allaah and never repeat this sin. Each time I commit this sin, I keep promising to repent and quit it, but I never do so. Why do I keep failing to quit even though I have promosed myself to do this many times? What do I need to do to be able to promise to quit and actually stick with it?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. 

There is no doubt that what you are doing is evil.

There are many matters that will help you to repent from this sin and quit it, which are as follows:

- To remind yourself and feel that this is a great sin and that it has evil consequences, such as bringing the wrath of Allaah and being deprived of the blessings in livelihood and the blessing of one’s lifespan, among other numerous great evils. You should refer to the book Ad-Daa’ wad-Dawaa’ by Ibn Al-Qayyim as he mentioned the consequences of evil sins, which would urge any sane person to avoid them and quit them, in it.

- To remind yourself and feel that Allaah is watching you and is encompassing you and that nothing is hidden from Him of your affairs; so you should not consider Allaah as the least important of those who are watching you.

- To keep company with righteous people and abide by the remembrance of Allaah.

- To earnestly supplicate Allaah to help you overcome your own self (desires), which incites you to commit evil, as the hearts of the people are between two fingers of Allaah and He turns them as He pleases.

- Every time you commit a sin, you must repent and not despair of the mercy of Allaah as Allaah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful, and He forgives you as long as you seek His forgiveness and repent to Him.

- Every time you sincerely repent from your sin, a sincere repentance while fulfilling its conditions, then Allaah will forgive you that sin. If you return to it again, then you should repent again and never despair until Allaah grants you a sincere repentance after which you will never commit the sin again.

As regards hypocrisy, this is something that you must fear for yourself if you insist on that evil, because the punishment of evil is to commit evil again.

If you realize the enormity of the sin and think about its consequences in case you do not repent from it, as this could lead you to the blazing Fire, whose fuel is men and stones, then there is no doubt that this would make you regret what you did.

We ask Allaah to bless you with sincere repentance.

For more benefit on the conditions of sincere repentance, please refer to fatwa 86527.

Allaah knows best.