Assalaamu alaykum. I am contacting you regarding my marriage. I am 19 years old. Coming August I will have been married for a year. I was forced into the marriage by my father. I married my first cousin. I lived with him for about four months and then went back to the US for school. During my whole marriage, he never spent a dollar on me. All the money that we were using for food and shelter was given to us by my dad. He had been driving everyone crazy for the past four years about getting married to me. During these four years, he never saved up money to actual pay for our wedding or for us to live off. I want to get divorced because I do not love him, I do not have kids with him, and he does not support me financially. We also do not talk. I do not call him nor does he call or text me. We live in two different countries. Till this day, my father supports him by giving him money, and he does not have a job. What should I do? Praise be to Allaah for everything; I work and support myself. Every time I speak to my father about this, he tells me that I am not getting a divorce. Please help me. May Allaah reward you.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

If the husband does not provide for his wife, then she has the right to ask for divorce. Ibn Qudaamah wrote, “If the husband refrains from providing for his wife due to straitened circumstances and he has no wealth to spend on her from, then the wife is given the choice either to be patient or to leave him.”

It has been reported on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar that ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, sent a message to the army commanders regarding some soldiers who had been absent from their wives for a long time, commanding them to either provide for them or divorce them. If they chose to divorce them, then they had to send them maintenance for the period that they had stopped paying it. Please refer to fatwa 131953 about the valid reasons for asking for a divorce.

If the wife dislikes her husband and fears that this will lead to neglecting his due rights over her, then she is allowed to ask for a Khul’, which is a divorce at the request of the wife in return for a compensation payable by her. Please refer to fatwa 89039 about the rulings on Khul’.

However, it is advisable that you do not hasten to request divorce or Khul’, especially given that you mentioned that your father objects to it. It is better to resort to reconciliation and reaching a mutual understanding. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in (human) souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.} [Quran 4:128]

If the reconciliation attempts are proven successful, all praise be to Allah; otherwise, you have the right to request a Khul’ or divorce, even if your father does not approve it. Children are not obliged to obey the parent in what causes harm to them, as has previously been underlined in fatwa 131695. It is better, though, to try to convince your father first and obtain his approval; verily, earning the pleasure of one's father entails earning the pleasure of Allah, as is stated in the authentic hadeeth.

Allah knows best.